Divorce 2 and half year ago. Child support on divorce decree says reserved. I have 2 children with x spouse. Had 2 additional children after divorce with someone else. Currently making 37000 while he makes 55000+. We both have legal and physical joint custody. My oldest child tells me he doesn't love me and doesn't want to live with me. He's only 6. When I ask y he says that, he acknowledge his father thinks I am a very bad person. Kids spend 4 days with me and 3 days with their father. How do I go about getting child support change from reserved into an actual amount plus changing custody for tarnishing my relationship with my children into a positive relationship. I usually encourage my children to have a good relationship with their father, but this one caught me off guard and I could of said a million things to my child but had to bit my tongue and tell him to go play. how do I enforce their father not to intrude on my days, such as picking up my kids from school on my days.How to change support from reserved?After divorce, many single parents try too hard to compensate for the absence of a spouse. In the process, they neglect their own needs in order to meet their children's needs.
Many custodial single parents -- most of whom are female -- have become ensnared in the %26quot;Single Parent Trap.%26quot; As the distinction between what her kids truly need and what they simply want becomes blurred, a single mother can easily fall into a pattern of overindulgence, stretching her emotional resources to the breaking point.
She gives as much as she can, both emotionally and materially, to children who begin taking this giving for granted -- appreciating it less and less, and becoming increasingly demanding. Eventually, and inevitably, the single mother's ability to go on giving collapses, and she vents her frustration at the kids. Then guilt sets in.
In this ongoing soap opera, the children are victims of circumstance, and Mom must do penance through self-sacrifice. Every time she gets angry at her kids, she ends up feeling like a bad parent. %26quot;If I could only control my temper,%26quot; she thinks, %26quot;everything would be OK.%26quot; But her temper is not the problem. Instead, she must learn to moderate her giving to her kids, and begin getting for herself.
You must establish an identity for yourself separate and apart from the role of parent. You must allow the adult woman in you to separate herself from her role as Mom. Doing so will help you get your needs met, whether they be social, vocational, recreational, or sexual. In short, for your children's sake as well as your own, you must give yourself permission to be selfish. Only then will you have enough %26quot;inventory%26quot; to share freely with your children.
Another part of the single parent trap is entering into competition with the children's father. The single mom sees him having all the fun with the children while she shoulders the day-to-day responsibilities. What's more, she notices that the kids are more excited about visits with Dad than they are about returning home. Again, she overcompensates by trying to make life with Mom easy and wonderful. Free yourself by embracing %26quot;The Single Parent's Bill of Rights%26quot;:How to change support from reserved?Nothing in your post supports altering the custody arrangement therefore, I would advise dropping that issue. Children of this age always take sides and I can assume that when he is with his father (as my children did) he says things that the father thinks you put in the child's name.
As for the reserving child support, you need to file a petition to reopen the issue before the original court. However, based on the share of custody and the low difference in income, you will most likely receive a minimum of support.
If either of you are not abiding by the court ordered custody you can file a motion to show cause for contempt. HOWEVER, make sure you do not have dirty hands. I can tell you from years of experience that if you bring petty issues before the court, YOU will be paying the price.
