Here is the situation. My friend is going through a custody change between his parents. He currently lives with his dad and goes to his moms every other weekend (joint-custody). He wants to move in with his mom but his dad wont allow it. He is 15 years old so he is well above the age needed to decide. His dad wont do a court mediator to change the custody, and he wont sign papers that an attorney might draw up for custody change. He is basically prepared to make this take as long as possible. His mom has no problem dealing with the matter in the court but is worried about him because in the mean time he is stuck at his dads who is mean and abusive to him. Is there a way to do a temporary custody change? How long would it take? Please give any information you can to help me out here. Thanks.Temporary Custody Change from one Parent to another.?His mom can file an Ex-Parte order for the change of custody to her until a court hearing can be arranged. Have her contact a lawyer for more info...Temporary Custody Change from one Parent to another.?She file for an emergency custody hearing, but she needs to be detailed in what the reasoning is. List all the abusive situations and so on. The better and more detailed, the better picture a judge has. If she has an attorney, he should have been able to tell her this.
She can file it on her own as well. Althougth I am not sure of al the details. But is she calls the courthouse, and asks for the legal aide, they can usually tell her exactly what she needs to do.
www.divorcenet.com
www.deltabravo.net
Both are GREAT sources of informationTemporary Custody Change from one Parent to another.?The kid is 15, just tell him to stay at his mother's house. the dad will have to take legal action to get him to come home, when it goes to court, which coud take 6 months or more, the kid will already have a place of habitual residence.
I don't know why parents have to play their kids off of each other, these loyalty games ruin people for life..
Both of his parents should be ashamed for not showing a united front and look out for the best interest of the kidTemporary Custody Change from one Parent to another.?As long as dad wont agree to anything here a temporary custody will not happen. Unless something happens to Dad, the courts will not interfere here and issue a temporary custody order so your friend is out of luck here. Sorry
Friday, June 3, 2011
Custody question (slightly long)?
I'll try and make this short. Basically, my husband filed for custody of his youngest daughter in February. Last week was court. The judge decided that he proved his case, warranting a change in custody. The mother's request for custody was flat out denied. (they right now have 50/50 custody.) Right now he just has to wait for a plenary hearing to discuss the change in custody to him and how its all gonna work. We dont as of yet know the date for that. However, tomorrow he is going to the court house to file for emergency temporary custody of her becuase he's greatly concerned for her safety, health, and well-being. Last tuesday, he picked her up a day early cuz her mother went into labor with her 4th child (mind you his daughter is 3, and she is the mother's second child. Do the math, lol). When he got there, her roommates were sitting on the couch with his daughter and smoking. This poor girl is very prone to pneumonia because of how much her mother smoked around her as a newborn. (thats on record as well). obviously, my husband was quite p*ssed. She had to go back to her mother on saturday. when she did, she had no injuries or scrapes and scrathes and the such. When we picked his daughter up today, this poor child had 4 scratches/cuts on her right hand, 2 on the left hand, 2 on her right forearm, one on her left wrist, a nasty bruise on her right ankle, 2 huge bruises on her right knee with a nasty cut in the middle of them, and two bad scratches/cuts along her spine. I understand that kids fall and get hurt and what not, but all that is d@mn ridiculous to have happened between saturday and today. So, tomorrow he is filing for emergency temporary custody. We have pics from everything we found on her today, which he will include in his paperwork tomorrow. My question is what do you think his chances of getting it are? As I said, the judge already recognized a custody change needs to be made n has determined that the mother has been medically neglecting the child. He wants emergency custody until he can get in front of the judge for the plenary hearing to change custody. Think he's got a shot??Custody question (slightly long)?I think he has a decent chance. Especially seeing how the judge recognized a change in custody needs to be made. You might want to get a lawyer if you don't have one already.Custody question (slightly long)?Actually my nephew who is almost two fell on his blocks and he was all bruised up. My sister was watching him btw my mom came in and asked her if she wanted her to pick her up anything(my sister was visiting) and literally when she turned her baby fell and she feels guilty still. You'd be surprised how badly kids are clumsy wise. BUT the smoking is disgusting. Good luck to your boyfriendIdeas for a Summer quilt layout Hosting a server
How do I petition the court to change parental custody?
I'm 15 years of age and my parents are divorced and currently have joint custody of me in Maricopa County, Arizona. However, I wish to petition the court so that my father will have sole custody and I've looked at the forms but I'm not sure what to fill out or where to start.How do I petition the court to change parental custody?It is good that you want to take control of your life, but you are considered a minor in the eyes of the law..
And you cannot file a petition on behalf of yourself, but your father can file the petition and allow the courts to decide what is in the best interest for you.
The judge may be willing to listen to what you have to say but your father must be the one to file the petition.
Best of LuckHow do I petition the court to change parental custody?visit an attorney, he/she will help you outHow do I petition the court to change parental custody?Hey, good for you for taking control of your life. to make sure you do it right, you should get a lawyer, but if that sounds pricey, head down to your county office, or the courts. Someone their should be willing to help.
Good luck!
And you cannot file a petition on behalf of yourself, but your father can file the petition and allow the courts to decide what is in the best interest for you.
The judge may be willing to listen to what you have to say but your father must be the one to file the petition.
Best of LuckHow do I petition the court to change parental custody?visit an attorney, he/she will help you outHow do I petition the court to change parental custody?Hey, good for you for taking control of your life. to make sure you do it right, you should get a lawyer, but if that sounds pricey, head down to your county office, or the courts. Someone their should be willing to help.
Good luck!
How do I change my custody and child support status in Florida?
Children were with mother in AL but now with us in Florida and we want to change or stop child support, how do we do that? Lawyers are not an option because we are still paying child support and have the kids, cant afford it.How do I change my custody and child support status in Florida?I'm assuming you are the non-custodial parent that's paying child support and now the children have moved in with you------
If that's the case then u must contact the child support office that has the child support case open, whether it be FL or AL (u don't need the lawyer) you need/have to file for a motion to terminate child support as children are now residing with you and NOT the custodial parent.... When case goes into court u can bring with you paperwork that will prove children are with you, weather it be a school letter or plane tickets, etc- contact the courts to check what else they will accept. However, if u can get the mother to sign a notarized letter stating that children are not residing with her anymore and she wishes to close the child support case then that letter can be forwarded to the child support office and you will not have to go to court- But it will be a good idea to take care of this immediately as you don't want to continue paying current support while children are with you--- I don't know if there is any arrears (back child support) owed but if that's the case even if the current child support obligation gets terminated the case will remain open until the back child support gets paid.How do I change my custody and child support status in Florida?Then contact the courts where the divorce was performed with the old case number and let them know what you want to do. They should be able to tell you how to handle it without a lawyer if it's possible.How do I change my custody and child support status in Florida?With or without an atty, you must file with the courts, a motion for a hearing to modify child support. This is on e of two areas that can be modified in a divorce after the divorce is final. Am not quite sure what it is that you are seeking so I cant exactly explain thisHow do I change my custody and child support status in Florida?Good luck without a lawyer.
If that's the case then u must contact the child support office that has the child support case open, whether it be FL or AL (u don't need the lawyer) you need/have to file for a motion to terminate child support as children are now residing with you and NOT the custodial parent.... When case goes into court u can bring with you paperwork that will prove children are with you, weather it be a school letter or plane tickets, etc- contact the courts to check what else they will accept. However, if u can get the mother to sign a notarized letter stating that children are not residing with her anymore and she wishes to close the child support case then that letter can be forwarded to the child support office and you will not have to go to court- But it will be a good idea to take care of this immediately as you don't want to continue paying current support while children are with you--- I don't know if there is any arrears (back child support) owed but if that's the case even if the current child support obligation gets terminated the case will remain open until the back child support gets paid.How do I change my custody and child support status in Florida?Then contact the courts where the divorce was performed with the old case number and let them know what you want to do. They should be able to tell you how to handle it without a lawyer if it's possible.How do I change my custody and child support status in Florida?With or without an atty, you must file with the courts, a motion for a hearing to modify child support. This is on e of two areas that can be modified in a divorce after the divorce is final. Am not quite sure what it is that you are seeking so I cant exactly explain thisHow do I change my custody and child support status in Florida?Good luck without a lawyer.
Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?
My ex husband has had custody for about 8 yrs. Our daughter has learning disabilites and when we got divorced we didnt want to take her out of the special classes she was in. Now our son is 18, has differences with his dad (his dad can be emotionally/verbally abusive at times) and wants to leave. I dont want to leave our daughter there alone with him. She will be in high school in the fall so I think if she were to change schools then would be the time to do it. I pay child support. Not sure if I need to reduce it now that son is 18 or when he graduates (June 2010). How can I get custody of her, have him pay child support (he lost his job and is just doing odd jobs so that may be hard) without a lawyer? State is Illinois. I am working 2 jobs already just to pay everyday bills and cannot afford a lawyer for this. I know it would cost at least $5000-$7500 with the way lawyers delay things around here so they can make more money! (Our divorce lasted over 2 years and cost me $14,000 and we agreed on everything...it was costly because of lawyer/court delays).Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?Either a mediator that gets you to both agree to terms or the two of you work it out. Once an agreement is made you can petition the court for a change order.
Your support order likely doesnt end when your son turns 18.. but when he leaves school.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?well you dont need a lawyer, you just have to sit down like mature adults and say;
%26quot;our son wishes to stay with me, as he is an adult, that is his decision. I felt that since he was going to live with me full time and visit with you, I might have a few years with our daughter as well. She would be changing schools anyway and if she feels comfortable with the change we can have her live with me until you get a steady job again. We could also do a trial over the summer. If you want some time with her, we can have her visit you on the weekends and all breaks...ect.%26quot;
You sit down and maturely talk bout it...obviously dont mention the abusive thing unless you get a lawyer involved...but technically speaking...you dont need lawyers to get divorced...if both parties are mature and civil (dont have to be best friends or anything) than you can savge a lot of money.
your husband should give you about waht you give him each month for support...cut in half for your son sinc he is 18 now? If you need more for one thing or another you communicate and say this is waht I am doing and it is not enough and I need x amount more and I would appreciate if you could give me a hand...
its a matter of you being civil and nice and he following suit...you cannot control him but it is a start and its worth a tryChanging Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?If he can prove that the child is doing well in his care then it's unlikely that a judge will change custody because you're fighting it after 8 years.
Your child support obligation to your son will end the month he graduates high school unless otherwise ordered, so make sure you call your child support agency in June and let them know that the child will be graduating.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?Well if you both come up with an agreement you wont need a lawyer.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?When your son graduates if he no longer is going to school the child support stops. As for your daughter you might have a fight on your hands so you will have to get a lawyer. If he agrees to the custody than have a paralegal draft up a custody order this would be cheaper and you would not have to go to court to do it. However your support for your daughter will continue until you get custody. So when your son is finished school cut the child support in half. If you get custody of your daughter he will have to pay support of some sort he is not off the hook on that.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?I'd use a lawyer.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?the only way you are going to do this without an attorney is if he agrees.. and if you did get an attorney your chance of winning custody back by court decision after EIGHT years is virtually impossible unless you can prove the father seriously unfit.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?If your son isn't going to school after he reaches 18, then your payments should be reduced. If he agrees that you take over custody, then you can find the forms online, or ask the clerk of courts where you could get them. Some items like that staples even sells. If he doesn't agree then you will need a lawyer. You will have to go to court to decide.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?You can go to Family Court and file your own Petition to Modify Custody. The court will schedule a hearing (you don't need an attorney for any of this) and then you can state your case as to why you believe it would be in the %26quot;best interests of the child%26quot; to be with you instead of remaining with her father. As for the 18 year old son. You can also file a Petition to Modify the Support Order since your son has attained the age of majority. He will be removed from the support order. And, if custody is changed to you, then your ex-husband will be required to pay support for his daughter. If custody remains with the father, the court may take judicial notice that even though your son has attained the age of majority, the expenses for your daughter have increased and the support order would remain the same. I would suggest that you file the petitions noted above and be proactive in the custody of your children. This will just take your time to do all this, but not have to pay for an attorney to do it at attorney rates.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?go online and get the child support worksheet.
you child support obligation will most likely be reduced due to your son attaining majority age.
petition the court for a Modification of Parenting Time and Modification of Child Support based on your parenting time change.
Just fill out the worksheets and file on your own. You don't need to pay a lawyer big bucks when they could care less.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?The easy answer first: You need to continue paying for your son until he has graduated high school. There are stipulations where you pay while they are in college too, but I haven't dealt with those, so I can't say for sure.
You would have to take him back to court unfortunately to file for custody. You have to show just cause as to why after 8 years it's better for the CHILD to be with you now instead of with her father whom she's be with for years. The courts can arrange to have a lawyer represent you if you can't afford one, but the burden in on you as to why the sudden change of heart, and the judge isn't going to accept %26quot;I don't want our daughter there alone with him%26quot; as a reason to change custody.
Your support order likely doesnt end when your son turns 18.. but when he leaves school.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?well you dont need a lawyer, you just have to sit down like mature adults and say;
%26quot;our son wishes to stay with me, as he is an adult, that is his decision. I felt that since he was going to live with me full time and visit with you, I might have a few years with our daughter as well. She would be changing schools anyway and if she feels comfortable with the change we can have her live with me until you get a steady job again. We could also do a trial over the summer. If you want some time with her, we can have her visit you on the weekends and all breaks...ect.%26quot;
You sit down and maturely talk bout it...obviously dont mention the abusive thing unless you get a lawyer involved...but technically speaking...you dont need lawyers to get divorced...if both parties are mature and civil (dont have to be best friends or anything) than you can savge a lot of money.
your husband should give you about waht you give him each month for support...cut in half for your son sinc he is 18 now? If you need more for one thing or another you communicate and say this is waht I am doing and it is not enough and I need x amount more and I would appreciate if you could give me a hand...
its a matter of you being civil and nice and he following suit...you cannot control him but it is a start and its worth a tryChanging Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?If he can prove that the child is doing well in his care then it's unlikely that a judge will change custody because you're fighting it after 8 years.
Your child support obligation to your son will end the month he graduates high school unless otherwise ordered, so make sure you call your child support agency in June and let them know that the child will be graduating.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?Well if you both come up with an agreement you wont need a lawyer.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?When your son graduates if he no longer is going to school the child support stops. As for your daughter you might have a fight on your hands so you will have to get a lawyer. If he agrees to the custody than have a paralegal draft up a custody order this would be cheaper and you would not have to go to court to do it. However your support for your daughter will continue until you get custody. So when your son is finished school cut the child support in half. If you get custody of your daughter he will have to pay support of some sort he is not off the hook on that.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?I'd use a lawyer.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?the only way you are going to do this without an attorney is if he agrees.. and if you did get an attorney your chance of winning custody back by court decision after EIGHT years is virtually impossible unless you can prove the father seriously unfit.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?If your son isn't going to school after he reaches 18, then your payments should be reduced. If he agrees that you take over custody, then you can find the forms online, or ask the clerk of courts where you could get them. Some items like that staples even sells. If he doesn't agree then you will need a lawyer. You will have to go to court to decide.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?You can go to Family Court and file your own Petition to Modify Custody. The court will schedule a hearing (you don't need an attorney for any of this) and then you can state your case as to why you believe it would be in the %26quot;best interests of the child%26quot; to be with you instead of remaining with her father. As for the 18 year old son. You can also file a Petition to Modify the Support Order since your son has attained the age of majority. He will be removed from the support order. And, if custody is changed to you, then your ex-husband will be required to pay support for his daughter. If custody remains with the father, the court may take judicial notice that even though your son has attained the age of majority, the expenses for your daughter have increased and the support order would remain the same. I would suggest that you file the petitions noted above and be proactive in the custody of your children. This will just take your time to do all this, but not have to pay for an attorney to do it at attorney rates.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?go online and get the child support worksheet.
you child support obligation will most likely be reduced due to your son attaining majority age.
petition the court for a Modification of Parenting Time and Modification of Child Support based on your parenting time change.
Just fill out the worksheets and file on your own. You don't need to pay a lawyer big bucks when they could care less.Changing Custody Without a Lawyer (IL)?The easy answer first: You need to continue paying for your son until he has graduated high school. There are stipulations where you pay while they are in college too, but I haven't dealt with those, so I can't say for sure.
You would have to take him back to court unfortunately to file for custody. You have to show just cause as to why after 8 years it's better for the CHILD to be with you now instead of with her father whom she's be with for years. The courts can arrange to have a lawyer represent you if you can't afford one, but the burden in on you as to why the sudden change of heart, and the judge isn't going to accept %26quot;I don't want our daughter there alone with him%26quot; as a reason to change custody.
How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?
My boyfriend %26amp; I will soon be taking primary custody of his 12-yr-old son (in December). We currently have him on Mondays %26amp; every other wknd. Basically, what's to happen is that the custody arrangement will be reversed, his mom will have him every other wknd, she will pay us child support, etc. This whole situation is very much agreed upon amongst all of us, so this is not like we're %26quot;taking%26quot; the child (just wanted to clarify that point).
My question is, how do we ease the child into living w/ us full time? Things are very different for him when he's w/ us as it is, since he knows we have expectations of him, whilst his mother spoils him rotten %26amp; lets him get away w/ a LOT of bad behavior. We're strict, but we're fun, too. There's a very nice balance w/ us. We just need to know how to make this all easier for all of us. Routines? Schedules?
I should also mention that the child has been diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder, so he can be quite the handful at times.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?wow. good luck.
seems he already has an idea of what to expect from you and I'm sure that structure and order are things he is lacking from his other parent. I think you are off to a good start and be ready for the occasional tantrum when he returns from a weekend of being spoiled.
once you get him added to your insurance you can check on the availability of counselling services for his disorder.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?I walked down this path two years ago with my 12-year-old daughter. There is really too much to say in this forum. But essentially make sure your daughter knows that she only has one home and is welcome everywhere.
Children get very confused if they have more than one place they can call home.
It sounds like you have a great post separation relationship with your former. Feel free to email me directly.
Thanks.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Well I can tell you this will not be easy. He will probably resent you after awhile because he will have rules and things that are expected from him. A child who has a parent that does spoil them always will say that they would rather be with them. Its very hard to hear some of the things the child may say to you, but remember later on in life that child will know which parent has done the best for the child. I would not immediately start throwing on things toward him that he is not use to but slowly work your way into it. You also need to be very patient with this child because of the bi-polar disease. His emotions will be very easily confused.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?I suggest you do some in-depth study of bi-polar disorder. Is he on meds for the bi-polar? How does he feel about the change? If he is OK with it, you need to sit him down and explain your expectations, and any rewards involved. If, he is against the move, hold onto your hat, you are in for a bumpy ride, and he will make it as difficult for you as he can. Every child needs boundaries and routine, but at 12, he also needs some space to express himself. If you don't have kids of your own, and your only parenting experience has been every Monday %26amp; every other weekend, you might consider some research on normal teen behaviors. Good luck to you.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?You describe the child more as an Obsessive Compulsive Disordered kid (OCD) than a bipolar kid (manic-depressive). I think you should have told him and allowed him the time to at least process the changes that will occur. I think the first thing I would do is talk with him and make it clear that, while you are not his mother, it is also your house and everyone needs to follow certain rules, including you, him and dad. You talk about expectations, but you need to be very very clear as to what expectations are realistic and which are not. You cannot, for example, ask a two-year old to clean his room and make his bed. It's beyond his developmental readiness. Even this 12 year old has developmental issues, especially because of his mental status. So please keep this in mind. Most of all, reward his good behaviors even faster than punishing the bad. Let his father do the limit-setting if possible.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Bi-polar does not mean stupid. To not tell him of a major life altering fact is just silly,stupid and selfish on your part. No matter what, the transition will not be as smooth as you would hope. Have paitence and give it time, remember,there is always tommorow.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?i think that if you wanted to make it easier on the son, you would tell him what is going on. otherwise you are keeping him in the dark and he is going to resent it and i cant say that i blame him at all.
he knows what you expect from him and he knows what his mother expects. the child is not stupid.
if he has adjusted to the schedule before, he shouldnt have that much of a problem adjusting to the schedule being almost the same.
i think that you are making a mistake not telling him. he wont trust you anymore because you are shaking his world up and dont think that he will notice? he is going to feel like he has been betrayed because you didnt let him have a say in anything. i guarantee thatHow do we ease the transition w/ custody change?I agree with oldsoftee2001 its very good advice.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Consistency is key in situations like this. As long as he learns there are penalties for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior everything will work out. It may be a little rocky at first, but anything is possible with enough patience and open communication. Try to impress upon his mother that she will have to keep his schedule (while he is at her home) consistent with the schedule that is set at your home as this will help him feel more secure and balanced. If she refuses to do this and underminds your attempts to make his life better and more drug free (one would hope) Then you might want to think about taking away all of her rights or reducing her to supervised visitation...How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?okay samething happened with my step children at the same age range, always remember that this is your house, and that there are rules,make sure wkae up and bed time is arranged,great if he could stay up till ten at his mom, but he's not there is he? when hes there he can make full use of her rules but not at yours.kids aren't stupid if they can go three months and remeber school rule, then they can remeber rules between house. Don't cater to his moods, this will just give him the upper hand and will start using his moods to minipulate you and his dad. being the outsider you maybe able to see when the child is trying and succeeding at minipulation, whiule the parents will excuse thir actions, so don't let him use bi-polar as an excuse, just remember he's a kid not an adult, so treat him as a chiuld not adultHow do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Well his mother might be able to help with his bedtime schedules and routines. He needs to know the rules in your house and you must stick with the rules.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Since you seem to have a good relationship with his mom, I would suggest talking to her to see if she can start with some routines. She doesn't have to do everything like you do, but if major things like bedtime are the same between the mom's house and yours, it will make the transition easier.
You need to tell him what's going on, as far as the transition is concerned. If you just spring it on him all of a sudden, that's not going to make the transition that much more difficult. You may want to break it into small bits of news so he can get used to one idea at a time--maybe say first that the custody is changing, then let him know he'll be with you more than with his mom, then let him know all the details.
If you're in the same area as his mom, make sure his care for his bi-polar doesn't change, or changes as little as possible. Also, his obsessing over details doesn't sound much like bi-polar, so you may want to talk to his therapist/counselor/etc. Also, if he is meeting with a therapist/counselor/etc, speak with them for ideas on how to make this transition as easy as possible. They are in the best position to say what will help him.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?ohhh b oy you are going to have your hands full-- I will pray for you and your family
My question is, how do we ease the child into living w/ us full time? Things are very different for him when he's w/ us as it is, since he knows we have expectations of him, whilst his mother spoils him rotten %26amp; lets him get away w/ a LOT of bad behavior. We're strict, but we're fun, too. There's a very nice balance w/ us. We just need to know how to make this all easier for all of us. Routines? Schedules?
I should also mention that the child has been diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder, so he can be quite the handful at times.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?wow. good luck.
seems he already has an idea of what to expect from you and I'm sure that structure and order are things he is lacking from his other parent. I think you are off to a good start and be ready for the occasional tantrum when he returns from a weekend of being spoiled.
once you get him added to your insurance you can check on the availability of counselling services for his disorder.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?I walked down this path two years ago with my 12-year-old daughter. There is really too much to say in this forum. But essentially make sure your daughter knows that she only has one home and is welcome everywhere.
Children get very confused if they have more than one place they can call home.
It sounds like you have a great post separation relationship with your former. Feel free to email me directly.
Thanks.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Well I can tell you this will not be easy. He will probably resent you after awhile because he will have rules and things that are expected from him. A child who has a parent that does spoil them always will say that they would rather be with them. Its very hard to hear some of the things the child may say to you, but remember later on in life that child will know which parent has done the best for the child. I would not immediately start throwing on things toward him that he is not use to but slowly work your way into it. You also need to be very patient with this child because of the bi-polar disease. His emotions will be very easily confused.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?I suggest you do some in-depth study of bi-polar disorder. Is he on meds for the bi-polar? How does he feel about the change? If he is OK with it, you need to sit him down and explain your expectations, and any rewards involved. If, he is against the move, hold onto your hat, you are in for a bumpy ride, and he will make it as difficult for you as he can. Every child needs boundaries and routine, but at 12, he also needs some space to express himself. If you don't have kids of your own, and your only parenting experience has been every Monday %26amp; every other weekend, you might consider some research on normal teen behaviors. Good luck to you.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?You describe the child more as an Obsessive Compulsive Disordered kid (OCD) than a bipolar kid (manic-depressive). I think you should have told him and allowed him the time to at least process the changes that will occur. I think the first thing I would do is talk with him and make it clear that, while you are not his mother, it is also your house and everyone needs to follow certain rules, including you, him and dad. You talk about expectations, but you need to be very very clear as to what expectations are realistic and which are not. You cannot, for example, ask a two-year old to clean his room and make his bed. It's beyond his developmental readiness. Even this 12 year old has developmental issues, especially because of his mental status. So please keep this in mind. Most of all, reward his good behaviors even faster than punishing the bad. Let his father do the limit-setting if possible.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Bi-polar does not mean stupid. To not tell him of a major life altering fact is just silly,stupid and selfish on your part. No matter what, the transition will not be as smooth as you would hope. Have paitence and give it time, remember,there is always tommorow.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?i think that if you wanted to make it easier on the son, you would tell him what is going on. otherwise you are keeping him in the dark and he is going to resent it and i cant say that i blame him at all.
he knows what you expect from him and he knows what his mother expects. the child is not stupid.
if he has adjusted to the schedule before, he shouldnt have that much of a problem adjusting to the schedule being almost the same.
i think that you are making a mistake not telling him. he wont trust you anymore because you are shaking his world up and dont think that he will notice? he is going to feel like he has been betrayed because you didnt let him have a say in anything. i guarantee thatHow do we ease the transition w/ custody change?I agree with oldsoftee2001 its very good advice.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Consistency is key in situations like this. As long as he learns there are penalties for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior everything will work out. It may be a little rocky at first, but anything is possible with enough patience and open communication. Try to impress upon his mother that she will have to keep his schedule (while he is at her home) consistent with the schedule that is set at your home as this will help him feel more secure and balanced. If she refuses to do this and underminds your attempts to make his life better and more drug free (one would hope) Then you might want to think about taking away all of her rights or reducing her to supervised visitation...How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?okay samething happened with my step children at the same age range, always remember that this is your house, and that there are rules,make sure wkae up and bed time is arranged,great if he could stay up till ten at his mom, but he's not there is he? when hes there he can make full use of her rules but not at yours.kids aren't stupid if they can go three months and remeber school rule, then they can remeber rules between house. Don't cater to his moods, this will just give him the upper hand and will start using his moods to minipulate you and his dad. being the outsider you maybe able to see when the child is trying and succeeding at minipulation, whiule the parents will excuse thir actions, so don't let him use bi-polar as an excuse, just remember he's a kid not an adult, so treat him as a chiuld not adultHow do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Well his mother might be able to help with his bedtime schedules and routines. He needs to know the rules in your house and you must stick with the rules.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?Since you seem to have a good relationship with his mom, I would suggest talking to her to see if she can start with some routines. She doesn't have to do everything like you do, but if major things like bedtime are the same between the mom's house and yours, it will make the transition easier.
You need to tell him what's going on, as far as the transition is concerned. If you just spring it on him all of a sudden, that's not going to make the transition that much more difficult. You may want to break it into small bits of news so he can get used to one idea at a time--maybe say first that the custody is changing, then let him know he'll be with you more than with his mom, then let him know all the details.
If you're in the same area as his mom, make sure his care for his bi-polar doesn't change, or changes as little as possible. Also, his obsessing over details doesn't sound much like bi-polar, so you may want to talk to his therapist/counselor/etc. Also, if he is meeting with a therapist/counselor/etc, speak with them for ideas on how to make this transition as easy as possible. They are in the best position to say what will help him.How do we ease the transition w/ custody change?ohhh b oy you are going to have your hands full-- I will pray for you and your family
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Changing Custody after u file?
I recently filed for a divorve without a lawyer. but now i am stuck, you see he abused me once and i left, i did not call the police, stupid me, i still wanted to be fair 50/50 custody of our 2 year old, he does not think he did any thing wrong and is going to protest for full custody in spite me, I am just throwing around the idea of changing and fighting for full because he is also throwing parties in the house while my son is there. 1. how would i change the paperwork that is filled to requesting full custody%26gt; 2. how would or should i go about getting the police involved when i know he is throwing parties and drinking around my son during his time?(could they do anything)?Changing Custody after u file?Sounds like u may need to call a lawyer, I went threw the same thing, but I got a lawyer. Sometimes if u call one they will talk with u for free and let u know what all u need to do. As for throwing the parties yes when u know he is throwing one and ur child is there, Call the police at that time, let them know ur 2 year old is over there and U dont think its safe. They can do something about it and it will look bad in court on his case. If he does anymore abuse then u need to call the police no holding back. Good luck to you!
Please answer my question.....
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtYB9eVJGx6rr_p.ZcjomMjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091028022824AAr2z74punk hair black hair styles
Please answer my question.....
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtYB9eVJGx6rr_p.ZcjomMjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091028022824AAr2z74
Subscribe to:
Posts
(Atom)