My ex lives in his own reality. We have been divorced for one year. Recently, he had his atty. write a letter about stuff he had made up (I won't go in to it, it's too long). Anyway, I had to pay for my atty. to write back and address these issues and advise him that if he continued, we would go back to court and change custody and visitation (we are joint w/ me primary). I have kept every communication since last year because I know he is this way. (makes things up, twists words, etc.) We used some of his emails I had saved in the letter we sent to his atty. I'm sick of spending money to defend myself against his lies (he doesn't pay for his high dollar atty., his grandmother does). I am filing for a modification of custody/visitation, but am trying to wait until after the holidays. I guess I'm looking for moral support...any one been through something like this? How did you keep your sanity? The kids ask me why he lies so much...I'm just exhausted, what do I say to them? I try not to say much to the kids, but they are 7 and 10 and see things for themselves at their dad's house. My 10 year old has been complaining of stomach pains for the past month...I think it's the stress. I am also currently recording all phone calls because he and his wife call and cuss me out (my atty. advised me that recording calls is legal in my situation) please help me figure out how to stay calm through all of this. I believe my ex has borderline personality disorder but it has never been officially diagnosed as he will not stay with any counselors.I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?As far as the constant court appearances, when you've won, ask your lawyer if you can file a harassment complaint or frivolous litigation complaint.
As far as the kids asking: You say, %26quot;Hon, you gotta ask your Dad that.%26quot;
As far as the calling, I'd definitely invest in an answering machine and never again pick up when he calls.
Minimize contact. Minimize conversation. I've gotten along quite well the last 10 years simply having no conversation with my ex. If he calls, he calls for the kids. If I communicate, it is through the mail and with receipts, ie: Suzie went to the doctor. You owe $7.00 due upon receipt. See enclosed receipt.
My life is ever so much better. The man can't talk a lick of sense.
I wish you luck, dear,
and God bless you and yours.I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?Cut all ties with you ex.I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?You married him, sorry can't help youI am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?A good answer for your kids is, sometimes when daddies want something really bad they twist the truth. Remind them that daddy loves them so much that he sometimes doesn't tell the whole truth. Don't let your kids ask %26quot;why does daddy lie%26quot;. You know he is but the kids should not think of there dad as a liar. I commend you for how strong you are. Remind your self that in the end truth speaks loader than words. This will be over and then you can take a deep breath:o) I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?for recording phone conversations you have to say %26quot;im recording this or i will record this%26quot; i think you should get an answering machine so he has to leave messages, and this proof is easy done. this is hurting your kids, i remember when my dad and first stepmum broke up. i was 8 and she was screaming at me saying %26quot;look at what YOUR father has done%26quot; and then started smashing plates. i freak out when people fight now it sends me into panic mode and i can feel my heart beating out my chest. and i never want to go out with the parents anywhere or be around them because its all conflict and i feel id rather be alone- i have estranged myself from my family since last week- and i feel sooooooooo betterI am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?My ex is the same way but he is too CHEAP to keep going to the attorney for anything. I keep my sanity by laughing a lot of his BS off. Just yesterday I was accused of making him depressed (he was depressed before we met). Everything is someone else's fault but his. When my kids question I say ask your dad. He know calls our oldest 19 to complain about me, he needs to grow up. I do not %26quot;knock%26quot; my ex I do not need to my kids see it all for themselves mine are 19,17,11. Confide in a friend you can just vent to. Well having something officially diagnosed would require them to admit there is a problem mine won't either. He does have an anxiety disorder that I caused also. Before things were my fault they were his childhoods fault. Good luck I feel your pain.I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?You have quite a problemMy first husband was acting out like that. I found out later he was on Meth! He died of an overdose and I admit my life was easier, but I do wish he got treatment. Just tell him to set aside differences and get to the root of the problem because you can't just cut him out. You have kids together. I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?I know what you are going through. I am dying to file for a divorce, I just don't have the money. My ex has a mental illness and is a pain in the *ss
I had to stop answering the phone because the kids were getting physically ill with the things he was saying.
But because you already have lawyers you should ask for supervised visits until he is evaluated and cleared. Also see if you can have a therapist speak with your children to see how they are dealing with this situation. The kids are showing signs of stress and need some support. Keep all letters, documentations make copies and bring it to your lawyer. I have been trying to record phone calls because the stuff he says is just awful and off the wall. He actually called the kids saying he was Jesus and changed his voice. He has made up lies too. It's hard but at least you are getting things done. I wish you the very best. The kids already see for themselves. Sit and talk with them show them how much you love them. Good luck.I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?My ex husbands ex wife was as bad if not worse. But--- my ex husband NEVER hired an attorney. He did everything the way your doing (taping calls, saving e-mails) and just took them into court himself to prove all her wrong doings. The 9 yrs I was married to him I learned SO much about divorce laws, custody laws, harassment laws, etc. I would look online and research everything I could find on what my ex could do. The kids (now 15-17) SEE for themselves how their mother is coniving, devious, and just an outright liar.
As for your sanity-- do like my ex did and just keep everything %26quot;by the book%26quot; and remember that he will get whats coming to him. It may not be when you want it to be, but trust me--- if my ex can finally have BOTH his kids living with him (after having supervised visits) and not paying for an attorney the whole time---- then your situation will work out as well. But continue to keep your bad thoughts about the kids' dad to yourself.
I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?Your ex sounds like mine. Look up narcissist. That's what mine is.
Also, your attorney should ask the judge to order the ex to pay your attorney's fees. My narcissisist ex is such a dipsh*t that after repeatedly failing to show up in court, the judge ordered him to pay mine. It was obvious he was being an a**hole.
Don't sweat it when folks tell you that YOU married him so now you have to deal with him. Mine was extremely charming until the moment we were married. Then he turned into a freak show. Just be proud of yourself for getting away from him.
I am at my wits end, please help me deal with my ex husband.?While it may be sad, it is also good that the kids realize he's a liar.
That way they should be less disappointed when he fails to be all he should be.
Too bad your lawyer can't come up with something that causes your EX to pay your legal fees. Bury him with Child support, %26amp; Spousal support!!! Load up!!
It's terrible when love stabs you in the back.
Praying for you.
