My ex (we were NEVER married) wants 2 bring me 2 court 2 fight 4 custody of our newborn son. I did not let him be put on the birth certificate and so he would 1st have 2 prove he%26#039;s the father. We have an older son, who is 2. We have joint sole and physical custody. I had agree%26#039;d 2 it because I never knew my rights and trusted him and his family. I wish I could change his custody but idk if I can ?
But he does have a new girlfriend he wants 2 marry and move in with and he has this dream of taking my kids (him and his mom have always threatend 2 take dem)...and living wit%26#039; her. She has her own newborn, (not his). I have pix her dumbass posted on myspace of her being pregnant and smoking weed. I also have pix of my bd like I stated, smoking, rolling up, and gangbanging. He wants 2 fight 4 a child he did not want, he wanted me 2 get an abortion, and he was NEVA der 4 da baby while I was pregnant. I also heard his gf popped pills and snorted pills while she was preggo too. His father drinks and has many pix too, he%26#039;s only 20. And plus he%26#039;s always arguing and getting in2 fights wit%26#039; his gfs bd cuz he claimes his gf is cheating wit%26#039; him (her bd). My bd wants 2 apperenlty join the army 2. He is Native American. He graduated HS and is using his tribal check 2 get his new place. I am on welfare, unfortunetly, recieve no child support (because dat is y dey got joint custody in da 1st place), but I do have a job. He has no job. And he%26#039;s friends wit%26#039; my boyfriend. He%26#039;s always trying 2 hang out wit%26#039; my bf and even when I was preggo, he%26#039;d come ova 2 his house on da days he had our oldest ! Meaning he wanted 2 come ova (usually he was drunk or high) and chill wit%26#039; him, instead of be wit%26#039; his son at home ! Now he has dat girl living wit%26#039; him at his mom%26#039;s house. Idk...any advice ?? Can I use all those pix ???
I%26#039;m sorry about my spelling...I can write, I just wanted to explain everything as shortly as possible !! But yes I cans spell and write perfectly. I%26#039;m sorry for the misunderstanding !!!
And by %26quot;gangbanging%26quot; I mean...he has pictures of himself, or him and a group of people throwing up gang signs and sporting their bandana%26#039;s and colors...plus I bet I could even print out copies of him talking about %26quot;getting at%26quot; someone and about him using drugs and such...he does comment his bis alot on myspace.
I can just clearly see that if he moves out...my children won%26#039;t be in a good enviornment...I%26#039;m sure he%26#039;ll be doing all of what he already does just in his own (unsuperived) place now...and if his gf smoked and popped while she was pregnant, how good of a step mother could she really be to my children ??????
I on the otherhand stay away from %26quot;the party scene%26quot;, I am 21 btw. Because I want to do more with my life %26quot;than that%26quot;. I just don%26#039;t know what I can really do about this situation !
I could probably reopen my oldest sons case since there is a change, ei him wanting to move out on his own instead, right ?If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?i think these kids need foster homes. If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?I didn%26#039;t read the whole thing but to answer the main question, that would make her look real bad and give you a GREAT chance! DO IT!If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Yes, you could use those pix. Gather every bit of info you can. At the same time cover your a$$.
Just an extra word of caution, if he takes the baby for a visit, and there isn%26#039;t a court order in place, he can refuse to return the baby, and there isn%26#039;t anything that the police or anyone can do, and it establishes the status quo, which judges are reluctant to change.If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?sorry, didn%26#039;t read all that because it was soooooooo loooooong! I skimmed through it all and would say yes, if you have a valid reason for thinking your children wiould be at risk living in his household, it would be definitely the right thing to do to introduce these photos of his lifestyle.
BUT i would offer a couple of words of caution:
make sure they%26#039;re fairly recent pictures - he could offer the defence that it was how he used to live but has since cleaned up his act because he wants to look after his kids and be a responsible parent etc etc so you%26#039;ll need to be confident that they%26#039;re recent enough to be taken as showing his current lifestyle.
Make sure he doesn%26#039;t have anything similar against you. I know you stay away from the party scene but alot can be inferred from one photograph so if there was one party where you got a bit drunk or whatever be careful there are no pictures anywhere that might surface at the wrong moment. Judges etc tend to be more critical of what they perceive to be irresponsible mothers than they are of irresponsible fathers.
Good luck!If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?I%26#039;m pretty sure you can do it. If i was you i%26#039;d show the pic in court and also fight till the end.If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?I understand where you are coming from and I dont blame you one bit for feeling the way you do. That doesnt sound like a very good environment to raise children. Sounds to me like you need to keep these kids away from him as much as possible. If I were you I would call CPS on his *** immediately and tell them whats goin on. Print out everything you can against him and dont let him know you are doing this until it comes time for court and then his surprise will come. you need to get your oldest son from him as soon as possible. Actually I am surprised he would want the kids since he sounds so active in gangbanging and doing drugs but some people are just stupid like that. I dont see that a judge will give him any kids with his lifestyle the way it is. Actually after you have enough evidence on him I would go to the court house and petition the court for sole custody of the oldest son and request he only have supervised visitation at most. If he can prove he is clean of drugs and done with his wild lifestyle onle then will he have a right to see his son and unfortuanetly you cant stop that. As far as the baby he has to prove he is the father first and I guess I would just wait on that considering he has to come up with money to have the testing done and in many situations they usually dont. Besides that after you already have custody of the older son he will have his hands full trying to get clean and get that taking care of and when the judge sees that there is no way he will win. Hope this helps you.
Concerned Parent If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Use the pictures yes, it would definately help your case.If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Your best bet would be to call Child protective investigators(don%26#039;t mention it to anyone, he%26#039;ll find out) and have them show up and drug test him and her. Use the test (if it comes back positive), and the pictures in court. Open your oldest son%26#039;s case and use them in that one as well. You need to be prepared that they will investigate you as well. My ex has custody of my son. I had him drug tested and he popped positive for multiple things. My son lives with his mother now until I can take him back to court. Get all the dirt you can on him, and take his a@@ to court. Get Full custody of your babies, and get child support. That%26#039;s the only reason he wants custody.
With CPI on the case your BD%26#039;s GF might get her baby taken away as well. I don%26#039;t think she needs to be a parent.If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?The thing is pictures might be seen as hear say since you can%26#039;t really prove what he was doing. They might also get thrown out by his defense! Your best bet is getting witnesses to his actions and having your lawyer request a drug screen. Your lawyer could also request an evaluation by a doctor! However unless you have some real bullet prof evidence you may find yourself having to except his visitation rights! Keep a journal of anything you find odd or abusive. If you have creditable witnesses to abuse make sure to keep the lawyer updated to witnesses and anything that might be concerning! Also have your lawyer request a guardian be appointed to your case for the child! You may feel that a guardian would be intrusive but they will actually be on your side in making sure the child is safe! The guardian will recommend to the judge if she/he feels the father is safe or unsafe! They will also make recommendations on what course of action to take! They will frequently inspect where dad lives and interview him! If he lets anything out about the drugs or things of that sort the guardian will not tolerate it and will set coarse of action against father. Even requesting emergency hearings!
The last thing I recommend is getting a good child consular! This is good because the consular can write up information to use in your defense if she/he discovers anything concerning! I would not recommend talking to your child openly about things that are considered adult! Leave that to the consular! Now if your child brings it up of course talk about it but don%26#039;t make a point of trying to make dad look bad! Its better on your part if you never mention things like that!
I know it is difficult but try your best to remain calm when in court! No showing emotion! The courts are neutral and will not be swayed by tears and screaming! This will be a difficult journey but well worth your child%26#039;s protection! Make sure you maintain your job and place of living! All these seemingly minor things are important! Good luck and hope it works out!If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?first make asure you have a lawyer, I have joint with shared physical custody of my two chilodren and I am in court alot, in order to change your original agreement you need to have a change of circumstances and with what you said it sounds like you have that. As for the %26quot;gangbang%26quot; stuff, as long as the child was not around at the time, I do not see the having too much of an effect I am not saying it is tasteful, but, as long as it did not effect the child, however, I would highly suggest you or you lawyer request a drug test at the initail court date. Also have his girlfriend test too if she is around the child, you may have to test also but as long as your test are negative and if his are positive that will pull alot of weight. Do not communicate anything to him that will help him prepare. Good luckIf I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Listen, do all you can to keep your babies, including playing dirty and showing those pictures. You have the burden of proof. And to ease your mind a little bit, no judge will take those children away from you and out them in the hands of the father unless you are proved to be an unfit mother, which doesn%26#039;t sound like you are. The custody courts have seen all of this before. I do understand how you feel, because I went through the exact same thing with my little girls father. And also, if you didn%26#039;t arrange custody the first time through the courts, go to them with the kids, and get a temporary order of custody, that way he can%26#039;t pull a fast one on you in the meantime, and that will show the courts that you%26#039;re serious. I%26#039;m pulling for you, sweetheart. Good luck, but I%26#039;m sure you%26#039;ll come home from court with those children in hand. If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Yes but before you play that dirty, just cover your own a** and make sure he doesn%26#039;t have pictures of you doing the same or anything else on you, you could get the kids taken away altogether.
