My fiance and his ex-wife have a custody change with their 3 yr.old son every 2 to 3 days. So when she comes over to our house to pick him up she will sit outside and take pictures of me taking my 5 yr. old to school. She has been doing this for the past month. She has followed me through town and yelled at me in public parking lots with her son in the car. She calls multiple times a day. Most days it is 8-10. They are going to court soon over custody again. (both are going for full custody). To top things off no one including the police will do anything about her. They tell us we need to grow up. I don't know how to deal with her. And I work right across the hall from her at work. She has threatened my job and my fiance's.(we work at the same place, all 3 of us) He is on a termination warning because of her. He was being nice to her at work and she turned him in for talking to her. She threatened my job through an e-mail. we have tried everything, including ignoring herHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?The behavior of others is not your responsibility...that is their problem...only as it affects you, and your family... is it your problem. Life is too short to be plagued by people who would make your decisions for you. By that I mean... when there is harassment by another they are not letting you decide your own course of action but are attempting to force you into their way and manner of thinking {and action}. In small matters this is of no import...in the larger ones it is robbing you of your freedom to decide what is best for you and yours and replacing it with theirs. ALL WRONG ! But for you to know this is one thing..for them to know it is another...and yet another thing still... IS... for them, to actually understand the implications of their behavior and change it for the better. You know what %26quot;they %26quot; say though...No matter how thick or thin you slice the baloney...there are always two sides. The voice of reason would say... reason with the person (in the company of impartial witnesses) LISTEN...SLEEP ON IT!...reply in an even handed manner and try to reach an understanding...(this does not mean you agree but at least understand them)..then try to make a common ground with which all are at least some degree satisfied....nobody can have it all I suppose...but....life is short...kids are influenced by a calm rational bearing and demeanor... (in later years that is an inspiration for many)...if all else fails...MOVE! peace is much more desirable than strife...all depends upon individual circumstances....listen to the inner promptings and do what is best in the situation....Oh, don`t fight over the kids...they see EVERYTHING and they aren`t kids forever. They`ll grow up and remember past events. How do you want to be remembered? Try going a week or a month at a time with custody to allow them to adjust to a households rhythm...The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting to get different results.....How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?You need to get the police involved, pronto. That's the only way you can effectively fight this behavior. Good luck.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?Call the cops, make sure there is a paper trail in case you ever need to use itHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?Have you spoke to the police about a restraining order? Is there anyway for you and/or your husband to get a transfer or a new job? This sounds like a terrible situation. I hope you are documenting everything for the custody hearing. Good luck!How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?Hmm..perhaps you should have thought about the ramifications of sleeping with her husband at work right under her nose??How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?Wow, i would definately contact the police, and try to get a restraining order. Just tell her to leave you the f*u*c*k alone and get the hell away from you and get off your property if she is going to take pics of you. Call the cops next time you even SEE her. That is scary and that is not even happening to me, but it still pisses me off!!How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?hmmmm......I'm guessin you caused the divorce..lol jkHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?You really can't do anything legally unless she causes physical harm or is violating your privacy. Though you can probably get a temporary restraining order. You should however let the police be aware of it and document EVERYTHING by keeping a journal of where you were, who you were with, what she was doing, what she said, who was with each of you, etc.
As for work file harassment charges and document things here as well. Forward the email to your supervisor.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?im so sorry that happened!!! first you should try to file for a restraining order
second if she is taking pictures, tell your neighbor across the street so that they will be a whitness and sue her... also request a mental healtrh examination, %26amp; counseling for her from you job/courtHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?All I can say is that you really need to keep trying and don't give up. This lady sounds crazy to me and the things she is doing are very childish...heck...they sound like things people would do at my school. Anyways let the court know whats going on and try your very best to get the police invovled. Maybe try and talk it through with her personally and ask whats bothering her. Cuz it sounds to me like something is either wrong with this lady and she's mentally ill or she's bothered by the fact that ur with the guy that she's obviously still in love with. So basically what i'm trying to get at is work things out ASAP.
~Good luck to you:)How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?i went threw the same thing when divorcing my ex.
we worked for the same company %26amp; my new love interest also worked with us.
this torture dragged on for the longest time %26amp; i finally decided
that i was young enough to start a new career %26amp; did exactly that.
i would try to be nice to her but it always came back to slap me in the face.
its just not worth it.
you and your man both should put in notice %26amp; find othere jobs.
your current situation will never work..How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?document everything-take pictures of her taking pictures of you, record her yelling and record her phone calls, transcribe them and record the date and time, save the emails. you can use this info to good advantage in court. be cool and the more unstable she acts, the better for you.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?The cops will not help you? She has threatned you? Hire an investigator and an atty.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?I would try contacting the police again. You need to collect as much info as possible (emails she has sent you) bring those to them as evidence.
Try getting a PFA (protection from abuse)
Maybe even show your boss, let him/her know that she has been threatening you/your finance at work.
Its not like you tattling or being a 'baby' about it. She is obviously over the line and needs to stop.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?My oh my... I am thankful for my whole mixed family situation after this. For sure you need to document everything that she does badly to you....documentation is key in court. Save the emails and just have these issues sorted out by the judge. It is so sad because nobody is being harmed but the children.... They are in the middle of all this chaos. Hang in there chica!How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?I don't know what state you live in. In the state I live in which is PA, I went through this with a stalker, in order to get a restraining order you have to be married, blood, or sex related, or related to get a restraining order. Contact family court where you live. Your husband should try to get one. Document EVERYTHING. Keep logs, emails, record conversations, videotape her outside of your house taking pictures. All the stuff you have said, if logged is evidence used against her. I strongly suggest trying to find new jobs for you and your husband. DON'T GIVE HER THAT POWER. I wish you both luck. KEEP GOOD RECORDS. They really come in handy.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?She's still very hurt, bitter and angry. She probably was not ready for the relationship to end...whether things are going good or bad, you go into marriage thinking %26quot;till death do us part%26quot; or else you wouldn't have married that person....you know %26quot;for richer or poorer, sickness and health....%26quot; If the other person changes there mind and you didn't, you suddenly feel rejected, and she also has to be reminded of it EVERYDAY! It will continue until she finds someone else. Just play out in your head if the same thing was happening to YOU and him right now, how would YOU feel. Would you just bow out graciously, or would you be angry?How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?why hasnt your fiance spoken to his attorney yet about this??? His attorney needs to speak to her attorney and get this straightened out.
here are a few things you can do in the meantime
1- change your home phone number, they will do it for free in the case of harassment. let her know she can contact the kids dad on his cell phone only
2- change the drop off/pick up point. dont do it at home anymore. pick a public place or a relatives home or whatever. have this put into the custody order as well.
3-document, document and document. take pictures of her following you, keep notes of everything she does to you and take it to his attorney to use in court to show how mentally unbalanced she is.
by the way, did you break up this family? If so, she is bound to be bitter and act out against youHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?document everything she does.especially in front of the kids. keep a notebook with you and write down times and dates and what she did.the police can't stop her from taking pics of you in public. tape her calls.they can't be used in court but the judge will listen to them. print out her e-mails. don't give her the satisfaction of responding. keep a recording machine with you and try to record what she says.especially threats. and good luck. documentation on this is very important. especially in a custody battle. as far as work goes, try to keep a calm relaxed demeanor. if she thinks she's not getting to you there is a good chance her behavior will escalate. ant witnesses that will testify for you will also help.
