After a horrible divorce (I guess not many are great)...my ex and I had finally simmered down I thought and were communicating somewhat successfully regarding kids. I thought 'wow' progress! Until, I had emailed my ex regarding his wife calling our daughter %26quot;my name, jr.%26quot; (it really hurt our daughter's feelings) I asked him to handle this situation and left it at that. He said he did and it was over. ...UNTIL....he took our son camping and she accessed my ex's email and sent me hateful emails regarding that conversation and it has escalated ever since (that was last June). Since then, she doesn't want him talking to me at all...which is crazy as we have kids...and don't like to talk to each other as it is. She has sent many hateful emails, called to cuss me out about various things she does not agree with. My ex is content letting her 'handle' it and thinks he can just bow out. I would have no problem with that if she were civil...however, she just causes more problems (she even told our 9 yr. old daughter she was going to take boxing lessons). I filed a police report regarding her emails last week(calling me a psycho *****, money hungry *****, and told me to bring it on psycho, not to push her, etc....I am seeing an attorney later today. I do not believe we can change custody arrangements...but, I am looking for ways to get her to stop...and get my ex and I back to communicating (as nicely as possible). Any ideas on how to get this situation under control...or personal experiences? I want to do what is best for the kids, and this is not it. Any communication seems to be met with a hateful response or no response at all.Relations with my ex and his wife regarding children is out of control, need helpful ideas.?File a restraining order on the wife. If she contacts you, then she goes to jail.Relations with my ex and his wife regarding children is out of control, need helpful ideas.?See what your legal options are. Make sure to save all the e-mails, she is harassing you and that has consequences. Relations with my ex and his wife regarding children is out of control, need helpful ideas.?sounds to me like you are doing the right thing by contacting a lawyer that lady is out of control and something needs to be done...but i cannot believe your ex-husband is letting this happen to his kids!! Good LuckRelations with my ex and his wife regarding children is out of control, need helpful ideas.?In all honesty, it comes down to you adults acting like adults. I understand the issues you are going through and the other woman usually is an issue but the best thing you can do is sit down and talk with you all together. Have a conversation between the three of you and find a happy medium. If she is unwilling to do this than that shows she really has no respect for your kids, you, him, and whatever else. She needs to know she cannot just be rude to you, you are their kids - thats something women dont understand. Put it to her straight but do so in a way thats appropriate. She needs to back off and stop treating you like crap, I would be very upset. I wouldn't waste money on a lawyer because there is not much she/he can do just to tell you all to get along and figure it out. Take care.Relations with my ex and his wife regarding children is out of control, need helpful ideas.?think you're doing all the right things. just talk to you daughter and make sure you let her know it's not her fault. TRUST ME all children think it's their fault so please please talk to yoru daughter. but yeah, get police involved because she doesnt sound like she would stop any other wayRelations with my ex and his wife regarding children is out of control, need helpful ideas.?It is too bad this is going on and that your daughter was so sensitive that she couldn't stand being called Yourfirstname, Jr. as if she was just like you.
Don't reply to new wife. Ignore what she says. Keep the emails and follow through with whatever police/lawyer action you are going to do. Do not threaten her back.
Your kids are caught in the middle. Maybe you can change the custody arrangement so that their father sees them somewhere else rather than at his house. However, if the wife isn't abusing your kids, just harassing you, they should continue to go over there. I'm sure the step-mom has issues about their behavior just like you do because kids do get on adult's nerves, especially if they want to cause the adult problems. After all, she has their dad all the time and they don't.
I don't know what your email to your ex said about his wife calling your daughter Yourfirstname, Jr. but I really do think you over reacted. Maybe you were too critical and brought up all sorts of stuff, may she is just overly sensitive about the issue of her handling the kids. It wasn't nice of the wife to criticize her step-daughter like that but this is so out of control now.
Your husband is a wimp who might even enjoy two women fighting over what he might think is him. Just don't communicate with her in any way. Your husband should be calling you to talk about things, not letting his new wife answer the phone, etc.
I think you are going to have to step back and be bigger than both of them. Good luck. Apparently this is getting to be pretty common now a days.Relations with my ex and his wife regarding children is out of control, need helpful ideas.?You wrote:
She ( his new wife) ....sent me hateful emails regarding that conversation and it has escalated ever since (that was last June). Since then, .... She has sent many hateful emails, called to cuss me out about various things she does not agree with...she even told our 9 yr. old daughter she was going to take boxing lessons). I filed a police report regarding her emails last week(calling me a psycho *****, money hungry *****, and told me to bring it on psycho, not to push her, etc....I am seeing an attorney later today. I do not believe we can change custody arrangements...
--------------------------------------?br>
Oh yes you can, and you have to show her behavior has hurt the kids emotionally. Get a poowerhouse lawyer...
Bring them into therapy, refuse to allow him visitation until this is settled, if at all. The fact is it is a hostel environment and potentially dangerous and harful beyind what already is Beyond the harm she IS already causing your kids.
Ex husband is a Casper Milquetoast and he is shirking respoinsibilites and not muzzling second wife to provide a living safe environment. He is afraid of his Second wife, in all likelihood.
DO NOT TELL THEM YOU ARE DENYING VISITATION. Just do it. Stay the kids weren't feeling Weil, etc and stretch it out. The fact is they Warren;t feeling well when confronted with go int to the other residence. Your responsibility is top protect the kids. do not tell the second wife about Police reports. Jeep fouling them, and ask a judge fi or a criminal order of protection against both her and husband so that he and SHE cannot come With 500 yards of you and the two kids. Therefore, they can never stay in their House, nor be with the psycho lady. That will fix them Both. I suspect she will flip out and get even angrier,. Have copies of tapes, etc, letters and emails, witnesses around to go to court with you to provide evidence of her insanity.
You wrue:
I am looking for ways to get her to stop.
The best way is to let them stew in their own juices without your kids not around. It his HIS loss. Kids need massive therapy right now. ...get them in and let therapist agree that the ex-s home is dangerous for their well-being. Let her testify, or have her write a notarized letter to the court. The fact is this crazy lady cannot behave like a human being. Protect the kids and all let a lawyer scream at judge to not allow them in the kids' lives because Of threats and hateful environment and ex's lack of muzzling his Second wife notr protecting his own kids. Even if they claim things will change, get therapiust to insist things cannot change until that crazy lady gets psychiatrically evaluated and onto medication...she muswt be forced to stay away from those kids. It will create problems in their marriage and it will serve them both right.
My gut tells me that if you get a criminal order of protection against them, hire a Private investigator top track them top insure they Arena;t going back top that home with second wife washing there inside, or meeting them with her joining up latter. If that happens, investigator makes report to court,. Hold hubby and second wife in contempt poof Court, and refuse visitation fop at least a year, no matter what. After that insist FN only court supervised once a month visitation with the kids for three hours with second rife not present.Relations with my ex and his wife regarding children is out of control, need helpful ideas.?Sorry to hear you are in this crazy mess, I have been there and done that, it really all boils down to the fact that she can't stand the fact he talks to you still and you two were getting along. She sees you as a threat and I bet that isn't going to change. I would see what the attorney has to say, I'm sure he/she will have much better advise on what to do but I do wish you the best of luck and I really hope the crazy wife stops acting like a child!
