The fiancee of my ex-husband ruined my two and six year old daughters%26#039; hair by cutting it off completely down to the top of their head. To make matters worse she put relaxer on my six year old%26#039;s hair too. Her excuse is that she could not manage my children%26#039;s hair because it was too curly. My children are biracial (I am black and their father is white, so is his fiancee) so they have naturally curly hair. However she claims she wanted to make it straight so it would be easier to manage. I have always taken care of their hair. I style it before I send them to their father%26#039;s and they always come back with their hair tangled up and messy. His excuse is that they don%26#039;t have the time to do their hair. I have been teaching my daughter how to brush and comb her own and her sister%26#039;s hair so that they can do it themselves while over at their father%26#039;s, then all he and his fiancee would have to do is style it. He accused me of being lazy by having them do it themselves and did not want them touching their own hair. So he let his fiancee and her friend ruin their hair. He did not talk or consult with me about it. He gave her permission to put a relaxer on my child%26#039;s hair but they claim that they did not have enough money to take her to a salon to do it ( which I would not allow because six is way too young to be getting a relaxer) so she and her friend went to the store and bought it themselves. They put it on her hair, tried to use a straightening iron too which also burned her hair off, and then cut it down. Then they cut my little one%26#039;s hair but they did not put relaxer on it thank god. Long story short: I took my daughter to the emergency room. She did not have any scabbing that you can sometimes get from a relaxer but her scalp was red and tender. Her face and eyes were red because she had been crying. My mother, who went with me to the ER, called CPS. They lied and said that my children had lice and that is why they cut it off. They also said that my daughter had an allergic reaction to the lice shampoo and that is why her head was so red and sore and why she was crying. Needless to say that is not what he told me and my mother and I have further proof of that. His fiancee then left me a voice message accusing me of being a vindictive bad mother, and that I was trying to slander her. She said that I should be more sympathic to her because she put herself and her baby (she just found out she is pregnant last month) at risk because of the chemicals in the relaxer which my ex let her do. She also said that she would make damn sure that she and my ex would get full custody of my children. This is not the first time that something like this has happened but this is one of the worst. My children have come home from my ex%26#039;s house with food poisoning, diaherra, and even my little one%26#039;s dirty training diapers stuffed in to her travel bag stinking up her clothes and toys (their excuse is that it is not their job to get rid of my child%26#039;s diapers and they don%26#039;t want them stinking up their house). I have gone to court over these incidents and the court stated that these were isolated incidents and that no abuse, neglect, or anything irresponsible was going on to warrant a change of custody or visitation. CPS finished their investigation and they felt that it would not be in my children%26#039;s best interest to be at their father%26#039;s for full weekend visits because of conflicting stories that they told and living conditions at their house. I am going back to court to get full physical and legal custody. We have joint physical and legal custody. His family is telling me I am making too big of a deal of this and that they will make sure I do not get full custody. These are the same people that let his older brother and his ex wife neglect their children and they never took a stand against it. The state of Indiana had to. My family is supporting my children and I through this. But what I really want to know is how can I get my children and I through this ordeal? How can I help my daughter heal from this situation emotionally as well as physically? Would my ex lose custody or have his rights revoked? Could they be ordered to take parenting classes or have supervised visitation? Shouldn%26#039;t he have talked to me first about letting his fiancee or anyone change their hair? Or am I really just being over dramatic too the whole thing? I really need some advice on this. Serious answers please! Thanks!Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?Wow, that lady is crazy! She whined about putting herself and her baby at risk from the chemicals in the relaxer, when it was completely unnecessary if she%26#039;d just styled it? And they%26#039;re not her children, so she has no business at all doing anything more permanent to their hair than washing, brushing, and styling it. And, you need to talk to your ex, and tell him that he doesn%26#039;t have a clue about their hair, both as a male and as someone who doesn%26#039;t have curly hair himself, and you%26#039;ve had a lifetime of experience on that part and are perfectly capable of teaching your daughters how to properly care for their hair.
For your daughter, remind her that her hair will grow back, and buy her a cute hat or some pretty bandanas or something if she%26#039;s upset about the haircut. If things come down to going to court, I%26#039;m pretty sure that your six-year-old will be able to say what was done to her hair, and other things like the fact that there were dirty diapers in her sister%26#039;s travel bag.
Now, I%26#039;m guessing you%26#039;re ex%26#039;s fiance has no clue how to style your children%26#039;s hair - I%26#039;ve got to admit that I only have a vague clue of what I%26#039;d do with your girls%26#039; hair in terms of styling, and that%26#039;s only because I had a friend as a child with hair that was textured like she was african-american (strangely enough, she was blond and pasty white). So, if your girls have to spend any time at all with this lady in the future, I%26#039;d suggest that you take them to a hair-braiding place and have cornrows or something similar done first, and make sure to specify to both adults that your children%26#039;s hair is in a low-maintenance style and as such does not need to be undone, brushed, styled, etc. by anyone. That way, your ex%26#039;s fiance will have absolutely NO reason to touch your girls%26#039; hair, at all, ever.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?Okay this was way too long to read but I%26#039;d tell the beotch to never touch my kid again and then punch her in the face ;)Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?You%26#039;re not being overdramatic, you are looking out for your childrens best interests. I think the biggest problem is you are talking to her. Your ex is responsible for the happiness of the children. From the incidents you%26#039;ve stated, it sounds like you%26#039;ll get the full custody and dont worry what his crazy part of the family says. Just focus on getting a good case together and do what is best for your kids.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?Sweetie, I know we hate when things like this happen but I don%26#039;t think there%26#039;s much you can do about it. My daughter when through a similar situation, but we are in NC. Good luck!Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?NO, you are not being overly dramatic. The fiancee is punishing your children because she is jealous of you and hates that her man was with you and especially that he has kids with you. Stand your ground and DO NOT let her or that family convince you otherwise. He is harming his own children because of her hatred towards you and your children, or any-ones, don%26#039;t deserve that. Keep standing your ground and the courts will eventually take notice! Good luck!Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?Lady..I am sorry but this is wayyy to long I got through about a quarter of it and I couldnt finish it. Maybe edit it and take out some of the %26quot;story parts%26quot; and just write out the key points.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?wow
i agree they had no right to do that to your little girl, the poor thign must be so upset about her hair
its awful that your ex, their father, is so careless to let these things happed
best of luck in court and i hope it all works out because all these things that are happening to your girls sound terrible and youre not overreacting at all!Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?wow, you have a right to be angry and no you are not overreacting. I would be upset too. If your child is 6 years old then she can probably tell the courts what was done to her hair. She may not know what a relaxer is but she can tell them about the flattening iron and that they cut her hair off. Your ex should have spoken to you first before doing anything with their hair. Make sure you get a copy of the ER report and any other doctor reports you can get and take them to court with you. If you fight and do get full custody then I would recommend you ask for supervised visits whenever your children are with him and his fiancee. Best of luck to you and your children. I hope you will become closer as a family with your daughters dealing with this situation.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?They are little kids, and you just have to tell them that they are beautiful. My niece kind of worries about it. Everyone in her school is white, and she is biracial and has doubts even though she is a very pretty girl.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?wooo...you said long story short way up a the top..this is way to hecticly long to read even tho i read it becuase i am bored. I got nothing tho except next time I%26#039;d just pay for a haircut..children%26#039;s hair cuts arent more then like $10 bucksHelp?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?Wow hitting her won%26#039;t solve it tho. Sounds like your doing your best. Your lucky you have your fam behind you. It takes a strong person to deal with people like that Good luck It will get betrHelp?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?dont worry im pretty sure Obama would know excalty what to do!!!!!Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?This is what I always say if you do not know what you are doing with another person%26#039;s hair leave it alone. My best friends child is mixed race and he has no clue what to do with his daughter%26#039;s hair. So, he takes the time to go to a salon and have them show her what to do. You do have a right to react the way you do because those our your children and you should be apart of decision making when it comes to things like this. For instance, it is only baseball but my brother already told his ex gf%26#039;s husband that HE is the only one that is going to coach his son%26#039;s baseball because he is his father. Any type of sports his son is involved in my brother wants to be apart. If they respected you at all they would respect the fact and leave your children%26#039;s hair alone. If they feel that it is that hard to deal with then maybe they should come to you and ask for some tips. Chemicals on a child%26#039;s head is not something to mess with. Like what happened it can be very dangerous when you do not know what you do. Chemical burns are not something to play with. I do not know exactly what you can do to make sure this doesn%26#039;t happen again, good luck.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?he def.should have asked u first and i would have never let her touch a single strand of hair on my little girls heads she is a horribly person and if your ex-hubby dumped u for something like that you deserve way better cuz u sound like a nice good caring person i would take him to court and look for everything to pin on him child abuse insufficient living conditions everything and you should be able to win most of it just bring good evidence like the voice recordingHelp?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?well i really don%26#039;t know about the law and everything but i think that u should do wtever it takes to have full custody of ur 2 girls am really sure that u%26#039;ll win and gd luck with everythingHelp?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?if i were you i would ask for custody for yourself and thr dad meaning ure ex will have to meet them in you%26#039;re house.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?I am sorry Mistery I couldn%26#039;t read the whole thing either.
I don%26#039;t think you are being overdramatic.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?first i want to say that i am sorry that your daughters have been put through all of this.i am also sorry that you have to be put through this also.i hope that CPS will be on your side when you go to court about this.i feel that your ex and his fiancee should have discuss the taking care of your children hair with you.it sounds like the fiancee didn%26#039;t know what she was doing.it also sounds like your ex and the fiancee don%26#039;t have their best interest in your children.the fiancee and the ex do need to take parenting classes and have supervised visitation.
i hope your daughters and you will heal from this experience.you need to sit down and talk to them and pray they will understand this shouldn%26#039;t have happen.i wouldn%26#039;t turn them against their father or his fiancee,but try to make it know it will not happen again.good luck to you and GOD BLESS.Help?! My ex%26#039;s fiancee cut off and ruined my children%26#039;s hair?First of all I read your entire question and there is so much that I would like to comment on but I am going to summarize it as best as I can. You are doing exactly what a mother is supposed to do. Your ex should have consulted you about the situation. If they don%26#039;t know how to properly do their hair and don%26#039;t want to take the time to learn then they should just leave it alone or find a good beautician that you approve of as well that specializes in little children%26#039;s hair and can do it. It is not that expensive to get their hair done. There is never an excuse to not take care of your children. I think his fiancee got frustrated and took the easy way out and did not care what she did. She figured that since she is with your ex and he said okay then that meant she could do whatever she wanted to them. WRONG! Ignore his fiancee and family. Save the voice messages, emails, and whatever they send. Keep the ER report and anything else that the doctor gave you for your records to bring to court. Fight for your kids and make sure they are given plenty of love and comfort in this situation. Let them know that beauty is only skin deep and they are still precious. The fact that there have been other incidents, including the situation with the diapers which is absolutely disgusting, shows that they are putting whatever animosity they have above loving and nurturing these children. I think there is a good possibility that he may wind up getting supervised visitation unless it can be proven that he and his fiancee will or have caused intentional harm to your children. Also make sure that you get a good lawyer that is experienced in child support and custody cases. Everything that you say and do must be in the best interest of your children. You are really going to have to be strong for them. I hope I helped and sorry to write such a long answer. Good luck to you and your children.
