My brother has offered me a partnership 1-1/2 hours from where I live now. I have 2 wonderful girls 10-12 yrs old. My girls want me to go, they know how much I love them and we would have to change our custody arrangements, they know I will always be there for them, but it's still an hour and a 1/2 as opposed to 15 minutes. The opportunity takes me from 50 k to 100 k in 3 years. At first will be tight, but all training and tools are provided by my brother my best friend. I am very close to my girls they are the apples of my eyes. They also know that they will see their cousins and even mentioned that they might want to move with me...I know I can come home any time to see them, but I will lose 2 sleep over nights a week. They are okay with that I would miss them dearly,,,But I know they are getting more into their friends as well! My ex and I are friends and she is usually very helpful and understanding and willing to work with scheduling.Opportunity? Should I stay or should I go?if you and your ex are still friends that is great and if she is willing to work with you on the scheduling i would say go for it. your right your daughters are getting old enough that they are going to be doing more with their friends and developing their individuality. i know it would be hard for me to move away from my children and i probably wouldn't be able to do it but my children's fathers are complete a***s and wouldn't go out of their way to help anybody out. if your daughters want you to go obviously they know that if you move it doesn't mean that you are moving out of their lives and that it is a good thing for you to go. i'm sure they will miss you terribly and there will be alot of late night calls saying they miss you and want you to come home but as time goes by it will get easier for all of you. if you don't go is this something that you will regret later and wish you had done and if it doesn't work out moving can't you always move back home? i guess you just have to weigh out the pros and cons of going and see which would be the best.
good luck with your decision!Opportunity? Should I stay or should I go?Long distance relationships aren't necessarily bad. You can easily get more time with your girls by adjusting your visitation schedule. Especially during summer when they have no school you might get them for a longer period of time. Hey, when opportunity comes knocking, dont run away! You never know what this new job will bring, more income so you can fly them to you perhaps more often, etc.Opportunity? Should I stay or should I go?you should go. because if u didn't go, you will lose 100% of shot you didn't take.Opportunity? Should I stay or should I go?1-1/2 hours is not a lot. you can just jump in the car and be there if you are needed. if you feel comfortable going to work with your brother and you KNOW that the job will last i dont see why you wouldnt go for it. just be sure to tell and SHOW you girls how much you love them. dont let a day go by without letting them know...................Opportunity? Should I stay or should I go?go with your gut feeling.Opportunity? Should I stay or should I go?sorry but dont go! they might be saying it but they dont mean it. or no matter how sincere they seem, it is important that their mother is their to guide them through these difficult years! (especially the 12 year old!) so please, your family is more significant in life than your career. it may seem like it is meaningful, but money will never be worth the priceless memories and experiences with your kids. Trust me, it will mean a lot to them, too! if they have told their mother to go, but she says she'd rather be with them, that truly does mean something! it will make them feel loved and comforted. So do it for your children; don't go! You sound like a great mom, and i believe you will make the right choice.Opportunity? Should I stay or should I go?I think you should prioritize. Is the money worth this to you? which one will keep you up at night? and which one would you be happy with? If your girls mean this much to you, and you are ok financially. I'd rather live a happy life with my family than live with more money than I need.Opportunity? Should I stay or should I go?I think you need to find a way to compromise. Can you live in the country so you're 45 minutes from work, but only 45 minutes from your daughters? This would make the occasional spontaneous sleepover much more doable. Are either of your daughters old enough to drive if you bought them a car to come and see you? Can you work out a flexible schedule with your brother, so that you can work part of the month from the city where you reside now? These may make life a bit tougher, but might be worth it for the time being, and then you can see how it goes when they get older and busier. It's such a delicate balance. As a dad, you need to be there for your children and support them emotionally and spend quality time with them. You have to be accessible to do this. But, you also have to support their basic material needs. If you can't do that in your current situation, then you need to take this chance to earn a better salary to provide for them. But, if you can support them just fine now and are doing this soley for your own career, maybe it's not worth it. When you look back on life, which would you regret more - not spending more time with your children, or not taking the job offer? And brothers don't go away. If he makes it big, and you didn't take this chance to be his partner, there may still be a way for you to get in on the action later on. Children, on the other hand, grow up and move on with or without you.
Oh, and deep down, no matter what they say, your girls do not want you to go. They love you and would support you, but they want you to stay.
