Friday, September 23, 2011

What would be the best response a 14 year old female can give when their mother blatantly lies to her?

This is a sad situation that has gone on for years and has progressed to the point that psychiatrists have been called in. Unfortunately, it is the child who has been pulled out of school by her mother and forced into treatment when it is the mother who has the biggest problems as a well-known pathological liar who refuses to admit she has any of her own issues.



So when the mother blatantly lies to the 14 year old and tries to manipulate her in a way that reminds one of %26quot;Mommy Dearest%26quot;, the 14 year old reacts because she knows what is coming -- a complete invalidation of her point and some kind of punishment for something she doesn't deserve, just because she objected to Mommy's lies.



So when the 14 year old reacts, the mother throws up a wall and the two go after it like two scorpions in a bottle. This is not healthy. There should be a better way to resolve conflict.



But for the purposes of this question, assume you cannot do anything about the mother who is absolutely intractable and will not change her ways to save the world. The only mature, responsible and honest one here is the 14 year old (a straight-A student with no record of bad behavior from any past teachers). How can the 14-year old REACT to or DEAL with her mother when she knows she is being lied to an manipulated or punished unfairly? Her reaction to date -- i.e. getting excited and upset -- is not working. She needs to find a more STRATEGIC way to overcome this conflict and hopefully get it resolved.



For the time being, assume a custody change is not immediately possible. The question is how to empower the 14 year old with a better conflict resolution technique when she is crossed and attacked unfairly in the moment.What would be the best response a 14 year old female can give when their mother blatantly lies to her?This is unfortunately not an uncommon situation.

The trouble is often exasperated by agencies set-up to help children who believe everything the adult / parent says! (You'd think they would know better!)



But to answer your question - I agree with the previous answer - find a foster home, but that might also have a negative effect on the 14 year old EG being separated from siblings etc., being forced to move from friends, school...



Realistically, there's not much a teenager can do except remain stoically totally assured of their righteousness / believing their view/s are totally correct / justified... and developing a thick outer skin, like a ducks, so they can laugh off every attempt to undermine them.



That doesn't mean being sucked in, rude, flippant, lazy, complacent, lying i.e. playing the same game...

That means being watchful, resourceful, honest, straight, not wasting words or effort on lost causes, keeping a diary in a very secret location which can be shown to the authorities if / when needed, getting her own solicitor to ease liasons, and having a professional to befriend her such as a youth advisor.What would be the best response a 14 year old female can give when their mother blatantly lies to her?the 14yr old should move away from her mother into a foster home if its that badWhat would be the best response a 14 year old female can give when their mother blatantly lies to her?There is a book you should get called %26quot;Secrets of Power Conversation%26quot; it has s few sections that go over some techniques you can use when dealing with difficult individuals and will help you phrase your words in such a way that will get the desired results you want.What would be the best response a 14 year old female can give when their mother blatantly lies to her?wow...sounds like a day in the life me as a teenager. I see this happening to my younger brother now. I've given him a few pointers on how to avoid certain situations. Whether or not it can help in this situation is for you to see. When I would have a %26quot;conflict%26quot; with my father and it was'nt something he would want to hear I would just sugar coat anything he would suggest so I could get out of the situation. If he told me the sky was yellow and we all know it is what it is I would just agree for the sake of sanity. I have been accused of bieng out of line and threatened to have to police come %26quot;pick me up%26quot;, been, verbally, mentally and physically abused all because I actually challanged back with something he couldnt deal with. I suffered tremendously over this man....and Learned a great deal too. It's helped my little brother cope with living with this man now.

What I would suggest to this girl is to not argue back, not challange the mother and as much as it bothers her, just keep it cool. Has CPS not been called on the mother? Why hasnt the mother been evaulated for mental instability? Sounds like somethings greatly amiss in her head. I hope this girl finds a level ground. It's hard when you think or actually know that your parent is against you when they are suppose to be behind you.



I only have one more suggestion that worked for me....



Evenutal Emancipation when I was 16. Although depending on the laws of the states it could differ but I was able to in 1996.



Good luck on this!What would be the best response a 14 year old female can give when their mother blatantly lies to her?However the whatevers of it came to be, the good news is that the pros have been called in. I would encourage her to keep taking small steps down that corridor.



Resist the temptation to set yourself up as the knight in shining armor with a bag full of instant, microwave solutions. This is the journey of a lifetime. Just be there for her. Humbly. Supportively. Keep telling her she can get through this. Let it take a lifetime...What would be the best response a 14 year old female can give when their mother blatantly lies to her?She should start by trying to reduce her mother convictions start by “really? i don’t rember that but if you say it happened im sure it did”
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  • Please help me? Please just give me some word of advice or encouragement?

    my parents are in the middle of a divorce..

    my dad is so negative and unsupportive, but i love him. my mom... yuck. she's an alcoholic chain-smoker, that ignores me all the time. i'm so sick of her. i hate her. i want her out of my life.

    she cheated on my dad. he pays her way too much child support that i never see. everything goes towards her. she won't let me move out because that would mean she lost all her %26quot;income%26quot;. she's about to get a %26quot;job%26quot;, so my older sister who has luckily moved out into a nice apartment, with a degree and a nice job, tried to get her to let me move in with her, and offered to take only a fourth of the child support, just to feed me and clothe me. my mom freakeddddddd outtttttt.



    can she be forced to give custody to my sister? my dad cant take me in, my sister can provide a stable enviroment for me. i'm sick of getting yelled at by a drunk mother every night.. she calls me selfish, tells me i hurt her feelings so much, i should be ashamed of myself, of everything, i'm worthless.. my sister tells me to ignore it, dont believe any of it. but that doesnt make it hurt any less...



    please, i beg anyone, anyone at all, just help me.. can we force the custody change? i am so tired emotionally.. i'm always scared here.. im sick of being told how worthless i am.. im starting to hurt physically because i hurt so much emotionally.



    i just want sleep. like a full night of no nightmares, deep sleep. when i get stressed i'm deprived of sleep, and when i do fall asleep nightmares of my mother keep me up.

    please help me?Please help me? Please just give me some word of advice or encouragement?I do not know where you are located... and, this could have a great deal to do with the prospects of being able to get free of this situation...

    Also.. you do not state your age.... and, this could also be a major factor in the probabilities of you being successfully emancipated from this circumstance....



    However, with the support of your sister, and your dad.... and their willingness to come forward with input on the situation that you are living in.... there is every possibility, with the right legal council and some guidance in the particulars of this matter.... that you could be successful in getting free of your mom.....



    Talk the situation over with your sister and your dad.... then go to an available %26quot;free%26quot; legal councilling service.... they are situated all over the place and have no fees for listening to people's situations and giving them advice on how to proceed.....



    The best of luck to you in dealing with this

    and... you will survive this madness, believe me.... and, you will be a lot happier in the near future.... once all of this is behind you



    鈽?////Please help me? Please just give me some word of advice or encouragement?A good PI and lawyer can work with you and your dad to get him custody.Please help me? Please just give me some word of advice or encouragement?why don't you call CPS on your mom....and they will release you to your sisterPlease help me? Please just give me some word of advice or encouragement?Talk to a school guidance counselor or your pastor. I'll pray for you. I think you will be able to get out of there. Ask your father to help you if you need an attorney. I don't see why a judge wouldn't let you live with your sister if she is over 21. If she's not 21 yet, you may be better off in a foster home. Please look into Child Protective Services in your area.Please help me? Please just give me some word of advice or encouragement?love it is ok you will be alright .You can go and live with your sister and not worry about anything .Do this tomorrow .call your sister and tell her that either you are moving in with her or moving to a foster home and that you will not take no for an answer either she helps and now or not at all .you need to get away from your mom and likely your dad they seem both messed up .you do not have to live with a drunk ever .tell your mom that your going to school in the morning then go to your sisters tell your dad and tell your school and tell the police yes the police if they don't want to listen you email me and i don't care where you live i will get you help .I lived with a drunk and i know addicts and i know oh so much of whaT you are going through right now .you are not alonePlease help me? Please just give me some word of advice or encouragement?ok sweetie y are u not going with ur Dad. Did u know that if ur Dad wants to keep u and it seems to me if ur mom is this bad he would. To protect u. than u can talk to the judge ans he would let u.

    But sweetie if this is u just trying to put ur mom down because u blame her, and think if u move in with ur sis. will get u the money and not to ur mom. just remember u reap what u sew, and gotta tell u what u do to ur parents comes back to u double.So u need to make sure u tell the truth now. and I can tell u I was taught to respect my parents.. and I raised very good kids, but what kind will u raise if u r lyeing , and if u really are going through this crap and ur dad will not let u come with him ,than u can talk to a social worker who will investigate it and place u with ur Dad, Grandparent ,or maybe ur sister after seeing how she lives and all . But if they don't place with family than they can place u in foster care.I am sorry if my answer seems harish, but kids need to realize if they ie on there parents it can be bad , and if ur mom is doing this she like totally needs help.Please help me? Please just give me some word of advice or encouragement?well how old are you? can you get emancipated? have you talked to your dad about the situation? i know that you said you can't live with him but maybe he can help you get the courts to allow you to live with your sister instead.



    what i would do is get your phone and record some of the things that your mom is saying to you. save them somewhere on your computer or whatever. then when she tries to deny it you have proof. also write things down like maybe how much did she drink that day, these things will help you get out of there. i'm sorry you have to deal with all of that. i hope it works out for you.

    How do we get my grandchild back?

    My sons ex left taking her infant while he was at work. He had no idea where they went. She told him the baby was not his. He had been trying to prove DNA all along. He found her in NY, we are in MI. It took several court orders but the DNA was done and He is the Dad. We also found out that she either gave the baby to or lost the baby to someone else and has not had the baby for months! the baby is only 1 1/2. We don't have thousands of dollars for an attorney. The longer this takes the harder it will be on our baby. My son is now with a wonderful girl with another little one on the way. The baby needs to be with family that love her. Any suggestions? Does this lady have a chance of keeping the baby? We also found out that the baby's mother lost custody by the state of a son years ago. We don't know what to expect, and who to call other then filling out paper work for custody change. Any ideas?? Thank you!How do we get my grandchild back?In most states there is legal aid, go to your clerks office and ask them if there is legal aid in your state to get the number or the welfare office, let them know what is going on and they will help you.How do we get my grandchild back?i dont know really sorry. have you tried asking the police? you might want to post this question in law. i think you may get more answers. good luck!How do we get my grandchild back?Most lawyers offer one consultation free, and I think you should get an appointment. If the girl gave away her baby or %26quot;lost it to%26quot; someone, that's illegal, and a police report should be filed.

    How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?

    My fiance and his ex-wife have a custody change with their 3 yr.old son every 2 to 3 days. So when she comes over to our house to pick him up she will sit outside and take pictures of me taking my 5 yr. old to school. She has been doing this for the past month. She has followed me through town and yelled at me in public parking lots with her son in the car. She calls multiple times a day. Most days it is 8-10. They are going to court soon over custody again. (both are going for full custody). To top things off no one including the police will do anything about her. They tell us we need to grow up. I don't know how to deal with her. And I work right across the hall from her at work. She has threatened my job and my fiance's.(we work at the same place, all 3 of us) He is on a termination warning because of her. He was being nice to her at work and she turned him in for talking to her. She threatened my job through an e-mail. we have tried everything, including ignoring herHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?The behavior of others is not your responsibility...that is their problem...only as it affects you, and your family... is it your problem. Life is too short to be plagued by people who would make your decisions for you. By that I mean... when there is harassment by another they are not letting you decide your own course of action but are attempting to force you into their way and manner of thinking {and action}. In small matters this is of no import...in the larger ones it is robbing you of your freedom to decide what is best for you and yours and replacing it with theirs. ALL WRONG ! But for you to know this is one thing..for them to know it is another...and yet another thing still... IS... for them, to actually understand the implications of their behavior and change it for the better. You know what %26quot;they %26quot; say though...No matter how thick or thin you slice the baloney...there are always two sides. The voice of reason would say... reason with the person (in the company of impartial witnesses) LISTEN...SLEEP ON IT!...reply in an even handed manner and try to reach an understanding...(this does not mean you agree but at least understand them)..then try to make a common ground with which all are at least some degree satisfied....nobody can have it all I suppose...but....life is short...kids are influenced by a calm rational bearing and demeanor... (in later years that is an inspiration for many)...if all else fails...MOVE! peace is much more desirable than strife...all depends upon individual circumstances....listen to the inner promptings and do what is best in the situation....Oh, don`t fight over the kids...they see EVERYTHING and they aren`t kids forever. They`ll grow up and remember past events. How do you want to be remembered? Try going a week or a month at a time with custody to allow them to adjust to a households rhythm...The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting to get different results.....How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?You need to get the police involved, pronto. That's the only way you can effectively fight this behavior. Good luck.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?Call the cops, make sure there is a paper trail in case you ever need to use itHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?Have you spoke to the police about a restraining order? Is there anyway for you and/or your husband to get a transfer or a new job? This sounds like a terrible situation. I hope you are documenting everything for the custody hearing. Good luck!How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?Hmm..perhaps you should have thought about the ramifications of sleeping with her husband at work right under her nose??How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?Wow, i would definately contact the police, and try to get a restraining order. Just tell her to leave you the f*u*c*k alone and get the hell away from you and get off your property if she is going to take pics of you. Call the cops next time you even SEE her. That is scary and that is not even happening to me, but it still pisses me off!!How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?hmmmm......I'm guessin you caused the divorce..lol jkHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?You really can't do anything legally unless she causes physical harm or is violating your privacy. Though you can probably get a temporary restraining order. You should however let the police be aware of it and document EVERYTHING by keeping a journal of where you were, who you were with, what she was doing, what she said, who was with each of you, etc.



    As for work file harassment charges and document things here as well. Forward the email to your supervisor.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?im so sorry that happened!!! first you should try to file for a restraining order

    second if she is taking pictures, tell your neighbor across the street so that they will be a whitness and sue her... also request a mental healtrh examination, %26amp; counseling for her from you job/courtHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?All I can say is that you really need to keep trying and don't give up. This lady sounds crazy to me and the things she is doing are very childish...heck...they sound like things people would do at my school. Anyways let the court know whats going on and try your very best to get the police invovled. Maybe try and talk it through with her personally and ask whats bothering her. Cuz it sounds to me like something is either wrong with this lady and she's mentally ill or she's bothered by the fact that ur with the guy that she's obviously still in love with. So basically what i'm trying to get at is work things out ASAP.

    ~Good luck to you:)How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?i went threw the same thing when divorcing my ex.

    we worked for the same company %26amp; my new love interest also worked with us.

    this torture dragged on for the longest time %26amp; i finally decided

    that i was young enough to start a new career %26amp; did exactly that.

    i would try to be nice to her but it always came back to slap me in the face.

    its just not worth it.

    you and your man both should put in notice %26amp; find othere jobs.

    your current situation will never work..How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?document everything-take pictures of her taking pictures of you, record her yelling and record her phone calls, transcribe them and record the date and time, save the emails. you can use this info to good advantage in court. be cool and the more unstable she acts, the better for you.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?The cops will not help you? She has threatned you? Hire an investigator and an atty.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?I would try contacting the police again. You need to collect as much info as possible (emails she has sent you) bring those to them as evidence.

    Try getting a PFA (protection from abuse)

    Maybe even show your boss, let him/her know that she has been threatening you/your finance at work.

    Its not like you tattling or being a 'baby' about it. She is obviously over the line and needs to stop.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?My oh my... I am thankful for my whole mixed family situation after this. For sure you need to document everything that she does badly to you....documentation is key in court. Save the emails and just have these issues sorted out by the judge. It is so sad because nobody is being harmed but the children.... They are in the middle of all this chaos. Hang in there chica!How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?I don't know what state you live in. In the state I live in which is PA, I went through this with a stalker, in order to get a restraining order you have to be married, blood, or sex related, or related to get a restraining order. Contact family court where you live. Your husband should try to get one. Document EVERYTHING. Keep logs, emails, record conversations, videotape her outside of your house taking pictures. All the stuff you have said, if logged is evidence used against her. I strongly suggest trying to find new jobs for you and your husband. DON'T GIVE HER THAT POWER. I wish you both luck. KEEP GOOD RECORDS. They really come in handy.How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?She's still very hurt, bitter and angry. She probably was not ready for the relationship to end...whether things are going good or bad, you go into marriage thinking %26quot;till death do us part%26quot; or else you wouldn't have married that person....you know %26quot;for richer or poorer, sickness and health....%26quot; If the other person changes there mind and you didn't, you suddenly feel rejected, and she also has to be reminded of it EVERYDAY! It will continue until she finds someone else. Just play out in your head if the same thing was happening to YOU and him right now, how would YOU feel. Would you just bow out graciously, or would you be angry?How do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?why hasnt your fiance spoken to his attorney yet about this??? His attorney needs to speak to her attorney and get this straightened out.

    here are a few things you can do in the meantime

    1- change your home phone number, they will do it for free in the case of harassment. let her know she can contact the kids dad on his cell phone only

    2- change the drop off/pick up point. dont do it at home anymore. pick a public place or a relatives home or whatever. have this put into the custody order as well.

    3-document, document and document. take pictures of her following you, keep notes of everything she does to you and take it to his attorney to use in court to show how mentally unbalanced she is.

    by the way, did you break up this family? If so, she is bound to be bitter and act out against youHow do I deal with a stalker that is now bringing my kids into it?document everything she does.especially in front of the kids. keep a notebook with you and write down times and dates and what she did.the police can't stop her from taking pics of you in public. tape her calls.they can't be used in court but the judge will listen to them. print out her e-mails. don't give her the satisfaction of responding. keep a recording machine with you and try to record what she says.especially threats. and good luck. documentation on this is very important. especially in a custody battle. as far as work goes, try to keep a calm relaxed demeanor. if she thinks she's not getting to you there is a good chance her behavior will escalate. ant witnesses that will testify for you will also help.

    How do I have custody of me changed to my grandparents from my parents?

    I am 16 and am emotionally unstable with my parents. How can I get my grandparents to have custody of me.How do I have custody of me changed to my grandparents from my parents?go to social services in your town and explain you situation.make sure your grand parents want to take over custody and they would have to go with you.the social worker will then do a home study and also contact your parents to get there in put on this.then the social worker will set up a court date and the judge will make a decision on the information he has received,but you will have to show proof of unstable home for all this to happen.you may also need a lawyer,but sometimes you don't.How do I have custody of me changed to my grandparents from my parents?you need to discuss this with your grandparents %26amp; make sure its ok with them, %26amp; then to see a lawyer who can help you will legalities

    Concerned and out of my hands?

    My fiance has a son age 6 he has not seen him for 2 years, he pays child support. The reason he has not seen him is because she (the ex) has moved a couple times and he no longer has any contact information.

    He had asked the child support office if he could get her address assuming they would know (how else does the money get to her) They would not distribute any information.

    So what now? does he have to spend money on a private investigator or will the court system help him by getting a lawyer. He doesn't really know who to turn to to see his son or perhaps get the custody changed.

    And it pains him many sleepless nightsConcerned and out of my hands?He has to find his own lawyer as the courts will not appoint him one unless he is being tried for a crime. Does he have a visitation order from the courts? If not, then it's time for him to get a lawyer %26amp; get one in place. If he does have a court ordered visitation order, then he still needs a lawyer to help him take his ex to court to enforce visitation. He can also try to do some tracking down himself. Do people searches on the internet, talk to family/friend, etc. Even if he does track her down, she may not have to let him see his son unless there is a court order to make her do so.Concerned and out of my hands?Definitely go through the court system. They should be able to help.Concerned and out of my hands?Sounds like he needs a lawyer.
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  • Can an absent parent have access to the children's counseling records?

    My ex and I are getting ready to change our custody papers. Unfortunately it is not going to be easy because neither one of us agrees. The kids are currently in counseling to help them through this stressful time. Can I call the counselor that their dad will be sending them to and find out how they are doing? I still have all my rights but am planning on moving out of state hence the reason we are going to court.Can an absent parent have access to the children's counseling records?Not unless dad signs a release form authorizing any info be released to youCan an absent parent have access to the children's counseling records?BOTh parents have rights to their childrens health records and should be involved. So you should have the right to know how your children are doing. but it depends also on yur current agreement.



    Might I add...

    You and your ex better get into agreement because the more you disagree the only ones you are hurting are your children. And the courts take a very dim view of a parent who uses custody as a battle ground against an ex.

    Do NOT go there. If it means staying in state... I would suggest you do that for the sake of your children.Can an absent parent have access to the children's counseling records?Do you guys have joint legal custody? If you do, both parents have the right to this info, but may need to show documentation.



    Incidently, why on earth would you move out of state and force your kids to lose most contact with one parent? This seems terrible unkind to me and likely to backfire.Can an absent parent have access to the children's counseling records?Why is it people are so blind. Everything you need to know about YOUR divorce, YOUR custody arrangements, YOUR support arrangements are in YOUR divorce papers. Any questions that come up you should ALWAYS refer to YOUR divorce papers first. Then if you have questions if you're still not clear CALL YOUR LAWYER. No two divorces are alike and divorce papers say different things based upon the two people who went through the particular divorce. Asking someone here you are going to get all kinds of answers, because everyone's divorce papers are different. I have a friend who's husband has no rights to ANY information about her children other than where they live. He has no rights to their medical information or educational information. On the other hand my ex has access to my daughter's educational information, medical information, where she works and of course lives. Divorces and laws vary from state to state...so you need to check your divorce papers first. Then if you need to change something you need to do so in court.

    How do i get changes to child custody?

    I'll be getting out of the military within the next six months. I got divorced two months ago. Originally, the terms stated that I would get to see my son on the second weekend of every month. At the time it seemed reasonable due to the deployment schedule and training for the deployments. And the fact that my ex lives at the other end of the state. I would like to get that changed once i get out of the military and have a more stable life. Stable meaning staying in one place and not going to iraq. I'd like to see if i could get custody of him during the summers and on holidays, if possible. Not only does he not see me very much, but he hasn't seen my side of the family in over a year. I would like to change that. How can i go about it? Can the court system help me?How do i get changes to child custody?I would hope that you can work this out with your ex on amicable terms first. I suspect that he/she might welcome the break. Just because papers say one thing, that doesn't mean that you cannot see your child more often. This kind of thing should NOT be mandated by a court. Your ex surely realizes that time spent with you is good for the child. IF he/she says no, they are punishing you through the child...very bad idea, for one day, the child will really resent the situation....all children learn the truth, sooner or later. Do nothing now, but wait until you can prove you are stable, have good home life, etc....then talk to the ex. If that doesn't pan out, then go back to court...it will be expensive, and you may not win. But good luckHow do i get changes to child custody?as a father you should be entilted to summers and every other holiday... you can get a lawyer an petition the court once you are home and settled

    Im most states at age 10-12 if your child wants to live with you that is pretty easy to...but he or she has to be of age that a judge would let them stand and say soHow do i get changes to child custody?Yes the court system can help you. I can't imagine keeping my children away from their father. You have every right to see your child. I think the courts will help you, and if she has half a brain she should want her son's father in his life.How do i get changes to child custody?for sure the court can help.get urself a layer and try to take ur case back to court cuz it sounded like u did it before to get the visitations rights that u have now.am sure the court can change that if u r gonna be home and not get deployed again.How do i get changes to child custody?Go to court with and order to get more visitations. Not many men actually want more rights so the courts should side with you unless you have a bad pasted.How do i get changes to child custody?Go to the family court and request a changeHow do i get changes to child custody?Below link might help you

    How long is a parent to be out of there childs life to give up there rights to that child?

    my daughters mom has had no contact in over 9 years no in anyway .. no b-day cards phone calls or anything... and want to change my custody papers to deny acess to my daughterHow long is a parent to be out of there childs life to give up there rights to that child?What you need to do is go back to the courts and get the custody order revised. If you are raising your daughter and the mother has not had any contact with her in 9 years then you can charge her with abandonment and get sole legal custody of her.How long is a parent to be out of there childs life to give up there rights to that child?the mom still has rights even though she has had no contact with the child.you can petition the court to have her parental rights terminated due to neglect and what you think is the best intrest of the child good luck.How long is a parent to be out of there childs life to give up there rights to that child?Your daughter needs to be on legal age before you can really decide that she doesn't have rights anymore but it depends on what state you are sir, there some state that a parent will loose their rights towards their kid if the kids is pass 7 years old. Your daughter can ask a lawyer that she wants a divorce from her biological mother for abundening her since she was a baby and you sir can also file for papers that she is not allowed to have anything to do with your daughter.

    Gosh I'm a mother of 3 and I don't think I can just walk away from my own flesh and blood,................I'm sorry for your situation!!How long is a parent to be out of there childs life to give up there rights to that child?I am a mother and I have a similar experience. My daughter is now 13 and wants to know her father. Even though I have not stopped him from seeing her, he has not taken any steps to be available. The question that I have is what have YOU done to communicate. Have you made yourself available? There are legal avenues for fathers. I know that you may feel helpless sometimes and life just dealt a bad card for you and the childs mother. Does she have good reason to deny you visitation? If not, your rights cant be vacated on her word alone. Have you taken the proper avenues to secure a communication with your child? I would be more than happy to hear more about your situation and help if possible.How long is a parent to be out of there childs life to give up there rights to that child?I wouldn't recommend doing anything that would prevent a mother and child from seeing each other, that could come back to haunt you in the future.

    If the child's mother tries to make contact and she is forbidden then your daughter may resent you for it.How long is a parent to be out of there childs life to give up there rights to that child?Children r a gift u dont get rights to them we all belong to god.

    How should I expect my child custody arrangement to change if I move out of state (5 hours away)?

    I am the non-custodial parent. I've read that a typical arrangement is no fewer than one weekend per month plus school breaks (holiday, winter breaks, and summer break). How likely is this arrangement?How should I expect my child custody arrangement to change if I move out of state (5 hours away)?You will have him 3 months during the summer....Actually I believe the only thing that will change would be the midweek after school visit.How should I expect my child custody arrangement to change if I move out of state (5 hours away)?in dont think that will affect it. I am the custodial parent for my child and i moved out of state. u just have to update the new info with the court especially if u get chilld support. I wasnt informed by the courts in ny about holidays and breaks but i do send my child to stay with his father grant it he pays for his plane ticket or if i have the money to fund it. u just have to make sure u request to see ur child or are willing to fund the visit.How should I expect my child custody arrangement to change if I move out of state (5 hours away)?Everything except the one time a month,and you have to split the cost of the distance.The holiday would include so much during summer and winter break,and maybe spring break.If you both agree,to diffrent terms,and sign it into court then thats what you can go by.It is better if you can find an in between,and not let the state decide your family's lives.How should I expect my child custody arrangement to change if I move out of state (5 hours away)?DO NOT, under any circumstances, move five hours from your child! Your child needs you in his/her life more than the occasional visit. You are doing a disservice to your child by leaving him/her.How should I expect my child custody arrangement to change if I move out of state (5 hours away)?Well surely if you live 5 states away, you will nto get the child every other weekend. Usually, as you said, it is holiday breaks and almost, if not the whole, summer break.

    Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?

    My ex and I have moved on. We had two children. I made the monumental mistake of giving her full custody. I was ignorant of the law. I really thought this meant I paid child support, they live with her and I see them when I want to, like two days out of the week. Was I wrong!



    The system is so completely screwed up. She has changed her number and will not even let me know where they live or what her number is. What can I do. I am not ready just yet for a complete custody change(how much does that cost?) But now she is telling my daughters that the new guy is they're Daddy and I am %26quot;Daddy Julian%26quot;. What should I do?????Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?I suggest you establish your parental rights ASAP. Consult a good lawyer. Better to do it now than later--- you run the risk of losing your kids completely.Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?get a lawyerWhy would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?Children's feelings are deep and they are very smart. No way is anyone going to turn them against their father. So that is one less thing you have to worry about.Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?review your divorce papres all that information should be spelled out on visitation and child support. Read and if it is not being done fairly as how it was agreed on then a trip to court is very much in your future. You can take the child issue back to court and get a determination on what is allowed or not before you sign on line again.Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?Wow, that sounds like a mess you are in. Just try and contact her and tell her that those are your children, too, and you have the right to see them and act as their father.Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?it is horrible but women are spiteful like that, i dont see how any woman can take a child from its father (unless there is validated reasoning like drugs, criminal record, doesnt care, etc.) you dont seem like that kind of person, go get a good lawyer and hit her where it hurts.Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?You first need to get a lawyer, and get this mess straightened out! Those are your children also, and as long as you love them and want them in your life, you have that right. Some of these women are just not thinking clear. They don't realize that what they are doing is hurting their children. I think that it is really sad that she has taken away your right and if you can prove that she has trained the children to call this other man daddy and you Daddy Julian I am sure that the courts will be very supportive, I am so sorry that this sick brat is doing this to you and your girls, imagine how the girls feel, they think that you gave them away!!!! You need to fix this right away and be the daddy that they need and love, and then no matter what she says, she will never be able to take away daddies girls!!! Good Luck and I will pray for you! God Bless!Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?Now that she has somebody new, it is more convenient for her (and she can now afford it) to be lazy and/or selfish and just push you out of the picture.



    I assume you are not able to send child support now ... ? Don't you have caller ID...? If the children are of school age, you should have parental rights to their records.



    I am hoping really hard that the original agreement was in writing and that you are named as father on the birth certificates.



    Did you use a lawyer when you made the first agreement? If so, consult him/her.



    If not, find a family law attorney with a good reputation, and put the whole arrangement back on the table, on the grounds that one party is not living up to their part of the agreement, alienation of affection, etc.Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?Sigh I hate to say it, but you may be in for a long fight. It sounds that your ex is being spiteful, although I have not heard both sides of the story.



    I would suggest like ours you should get a lawyer.

    If it has been arranged through the courts that you are allow to see your children 2 days a week or that you have to pay a set amount of child support then you have to fight it through the courts.



    Otherwise in the meant time if your not under court order to pay child support you can stop that (yes I know its bad) but if she has a new man in her life and is being called daddy then he can pay for there up brining as well. And once you stopped it wouldn't be long until she contracts you.



    Also as of today, I would keep a log of stuff how much you pay to her, ie keep transactions, bank statements of how much you give her each month, try not to give her cash in hand as there is no receipt of his happening and she can denile this in court. I would also note the times that you see them and the times that she was late or did not let you see them, this would be useful if you decide to take this to the courts.Why would a woman try and turn a child against it's father?Get a lawyer, you have rights.You'll fine ex spouses whether is the guy or the gal, will use their kids as pawns, as wrong as it is it happens .
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  • 16 and dont want 50/50 custody anymore.?

    I'm 16 and in the 11th grade, I will be 17 in 6 months and my parents have been divorced for about 4 years. My dad and I have never gotten along since the divorce but my mom and I have only grown closer. My dad is mean, suffocating, very uptight and secretive about everything he does, I don't even know where he works anymore. I'm quite responsible, I get decent grades, I have a job and I'm saving every single paycheck to buy MYSELF a car, with no help from my dad. I also signed MYSELF up for a college course that I can take during high school which I will be starting next year. He supports none of these things though they are all for me betting myself which my mom understands and never complains about taking me to work or to the DMV.

    So with that said, how would I go about changing there custody agreement on me? If you have legitimate knowledge about these things, do you think if I went to court I would win? Who would I call to get the ball rolling in these types of situations? Any other information or personal knowledge?



    Please help me if you have any helpful information, thank you!16 and dont want 50/50 custody anymore.?I think you should consult a professional.16 and dont want 50/50 custody anymore.?You are the child you rule the courtroom they like awarding the mom more than the dad as well best of luck to you!16 and dont want 50/50 custody anymore.?Your mom would have to file for a motion to modify and then you could tell the judge you want to live with your mom. In most states you are old enough to choose who you live with.16 and dont want 50/50 custody anymore.?I believe a motion will have to be filed with the court concerning custody.You are old enough where the court will take into consideration your wishes.

    I have full custody of my daughter.her mother does get weekend visitation but she doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to.

    So just don't go when you don't feel like it.16 and dont want 50/50 custody anymore.?Dont worry about changing the order. At your age jsut do what you want to do. He doesnt come get you anyway right? If he does just be busy or have a tummy ache.

    You should go to court though and ask the judge to force him to pay for your college classes and the expenses you have. Its sad he has to be forced but he should pay them. Take the deadbeat back to court or ask your mum too.16 and dont want 50/50 custody anymore.?Get a hold of someone in the courts--- call, send a letter, etc.... Maybe even a school counselor to help you.16 and dont want 50/50 custody anymore.?talk to an attorney..since your over 12 years old, you have a choice who you want to live with....going through somethin similar...

    My husband recently got residential custody of his 12 year old daughter. Mom kicked her out!?

    Now judge changed residential custody to us. Mother has not called child in 2 months and did not let her visit for spring break. she is very angry at the child for wanting to stay with dad. Her step dad wrote this email:

    %26quot;I broke my promise to myself. I told myself, once you left. I was not going to talk to you no more. Because I have said it long time ago, you are not fair to your mom. A mother that carried you for 9 months in her stomach. A mother that gave you birth into this world. And for you to give all that up to make your dad happy was wrong. You dad can't teach you how to be a mother or tell you about your body.%26quot;

    when you decided to leave, the only thing I can do is support you on your decision. I will not talk to your mom about calling you, when I tried after you left. She was so hurt. %26quot;

    We are thinking about filing a restraining order against the mom and step dad. since we think this is emotional abuse....please help or enlighten us in anyway you can. Child is very sad becuase she thinks her mother hates her and she misses her step sister. She does not want to live with mom again but wants to see her sister...PLEASE HELP!!! ADVISE!!!My husband recently got residential custody of his 12 year old daughter. Mom kicked her out!?That is not grounds for a restraining order. Her mother is hurt. Her step dad is trying to ease the tension.

    Why did she leave?My husband recently got residential custody of his 12 year old daughter. Mom kicked her out!?I think it comes very close to emotional abuse as well, but the courts will probably not see it this way, unless worse things have been said repeatedly. Emotional abuse is VERY subjective and in nearly all cases restraining orders are not granted.



    My advice, be an adult. Be there for her as much as possible. Don't cause this child more drama than is absolutely needed...this is unnecessary drama.My husband recently got residential custody of his 12 year old daughter. Mom kicked her out!?Custody/visitation issues are better served to resolve in family court..if you believe the child is being emotional abused, you can seek counseling for the child and have an evaluation done to see if there are any affects of emotional abuse going on with the other parent

    How do I go about filing for custody of my son?

    My husband and I have been separated for a little over 7 months; we are waiting for the year that we have to wait in VA to get the divorce. I agreed to joint physical custody b/c he is a good father, and I think it's important for little boys to have their father around when they are growing up. Recently though, his dad and I haven't been getting along well at all, and I just found out that while he had our son with him at his mother's, he had to go into work for a few hours and left him with her. She had to go to work, so she left him with the neighbor. I have never met this woman, or even seen her, and my son has special needs. He is transplant recipient and still has a feeding tube, so he can't be left with %26quot;just anyone%26quot;. He didn't even tell me that he was leaving him there, and that is what I am upset about. If I can't trust him to tell me where my son is, how can I let him take him? I have tried to explain this to him and asked him to from now on please tell me if he is leaving him someplace, especially if I don't know them, but of course he got defensive and said he did nothing wrong. How do I go about changing the custody to full for myself? Do I need a lawyer?How do I go about filing for custody of my son?You seem to have a good relationship with your husband. Instead of severing that relationship by making aggressive moves why don't you really, seriously talk to him and agree on appropriate child care for your son.



    If that doesn't work out you may want to try mediation or last case a lawyer.How do I go about filing for custody of my son?Yes, You need a lawyer if you want to win. Good Luck.How do I go about filing for custody of my son?Talk to your lawyer, if you don't have one get one. You can keep joint custody which you will want to do because your son needs a wide support system, but have the lawyer draw up guidelines that need to be followed and state what the consequences will be if all guidelines are not followed.How do I go about filing for custody of my son?First of all it is your and his. you can not keep say he is my son. (our son)



    Second, the little boy stay home with grandma.



    A grandmother can also going to court and file for visitation.



    So calm down girl. dad and grandmother love the boy as much as you love that little boy.

    How soon can an ex get a court date for change in child custody papers?

    Its not for anything bad. He just wants my oldest to go to school and live with him Monday thru Friday. He is 40 minutes away. She is 10 years old and our papers say she has the right to give her opinion on which parent to reside with but does not have the only say in where she goes basically.



    School starts in six weeks and ex has just now notified me to move her to his house or else...he will take me back to court and fight.



    We have another child who is 7 and I don't want them separated. He only wants my oldest child and not the youngest even though they are both his/mind.



    He thinks he has a chance to get a court date before school starts?



    I keep telling him that he wouldn't be able to get a court date that fast unless he is calling me an unfit mother. And he admits he is not saying that at all about me.



    So. I am asking ..what you guys think? Is it possible for him to get a court date before school starts.



    The girls have lived with me since the divorce which was five years ago. He only sees them on the weekends and is in the military (navy-subs). So I know he wouldn't even be in town while he has her (if he gets his way) and would leave her with his wife while he is gone.



    I am a stay at home mom 24/7, remarried with a third child from my current marriage. So I don't want to separate any of my kids.How soon can an ex get a court date for change in child custody papers?I don't think anyone can answer that. It all depends on what court you go thru, if your in a major city that handles alot of cases it could be three months before you get a court date or he can go in there and say what he wishes just to get the court date.



    Your best bet would be to call the court house and ask the family law some questions.How soon can an ex get a court date for change in child custody papers?If your husband files a petition for change of custody with the courts now, the pending court date would be scheduled depending upon their case load. It could take from 2 weeks to two months or more.



    Judges usually do not like to talk to kids under the age of 12 or 13 years old when it comes to custodial homes. And unless there are extenuating circumstances, a judge won't change the custodial home after it's been decided through the divorce, until the child is 12 or 13.



    However, this doesn't mean your particular case applies to these general circumstances... every case is different.



    In cases like these, we need to think of the children's welfare, not ourselves. So, ask yourself if your daughter might thrive better in the school district where your husband lives, or not? If he's not going to be home during the time she goes to school, i don't understand why he'd want this arrangement? His current wife would likely be good to your daughter, but from where i sit, your daughter is NOT her responsibility, but the responsibility of you and your husband.



    Somehow, i don't think step-parents should be loaded down with the responsibility for kids they didn't bring into this world.... I know most step-parent's don't mind, but 5 days a week is a lot.



    take care and you would probably get really good advice and information from a family law attorney.

    Mediation: Child custody question?

    My Ex-wife and I divorced 3 years ago. We have 1 child together and I'm entering tomorrow that I'm seeking joint custody.



    I have requested mediation to help settle our current differences. At the time of our separation, I wasn't financially capable to take care of our child alone, and neither was she, but she received full custody.



    Things have changed greatly in the last 3 years. I am now making over double her wages 15.05/per hour, and have kept that job steady for since our separation. I have acquired my own home, near our child's school. I have also remarried, and am in a stable relationship for 2 years and running.



    The Law states that I had to wait 2 years to make any changes in custody, which is why I'm just now getting around to making the effort.



    My ex-wife has been sited for neglect multiple times. At the age of 3 and a half, our child has begun telling me that he wants to live with me instead. He refuses to call his birth mother mom,(calling her, her real name, or referring to her as his sisters mommy) but calls my wife mom, and tells her he wants my wife to make the other mommy go away. We try to reinforce that the birth mom is there to love hime, but he replies with a list of things that he dislikes about his current living situation.



    Can anyone explain what goes on during mediation? Should I bring all of my incriminating evidence? I have pictures of neglect, pictures of massive drink till you drop parties in his mothers home, police reports, dcfs reports, etc? or should I take a calmer approach?



    My attorney's out today with it being Sunday, and I'm so stomach sick right now worried about what's going to happen and how he is doing right now.



    I was told that eventhough this is all going on, the chances are slim of getting full custody. I want my ex-wife to be a large part of our sons life, but she doesn't want to step up and take responsibility.Mediation: Child custody question?At the mediation there are several ways it can go. I would take the evidence you have but not show it unless you feel you need too. Just keep it in a briefcase or something for just in case you need it. A child that young has no say in where they live. All they are going to try to do is see if an agreement can be made, it is not like a court session. Also, you say your remarried and that is great but, do not bring your new wife, they will look at this as a third party trying to get involved. It should be you, your ex, the mediator and attorneys. That is proper.Mediation: Child custody question?your welcome and good luck tomorrow

    Report Abuse

    Mediation: Child custody question?First off I do not believe that a three year old has much of a conversation regarding this issue. The courts do not take into account 3 year olds words. Three year olds are not known to have alot of desire to make any phone calls either. There is no reason to fret over this, if the child was in danger, all these times the police were going over to the home he would of been removed from the home. You will go into court and say what you would like to see change in your custody situation, and she will say what she feels. These mediators can tell when someone is trying to yank their chain, so tell your desire, you would like to have your child full time, and see what they suggest. These days courts have no problem what so ever giving the father full custory, or shared custody with the child living with the father. I know a few of men and have for years. The reason was obvious to anyone why the father was chosen, just like it is usually obvious if a woman is given custody. Yes traditionally woman were automatically given custody, and I am sure in some areas of the nation this is still true. It is also very common for the remarried parent, get alot of pushing from the new wife to get the child. The new wife wants to feel control. Many new wives are really not wanting to deal with the ex, and that is normal too sometimes. You might win, since you live near the school perfectly shared custody, a week at your place a week at hers. I know someone who does this, and at first it was an odd situation, but they both seem really happy with this situation, and the child doesnt seem to mind going back and forth.
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  • Changing Child Custody Parent?

    I am 17 and i have been living with my mother since my parents divorced. I was given the choice of who to live with at 12 but my father didnt have a house at the time so I stayed with my mother. Now I have found out that living with my mother is unhealthy for me and I am very unhappy living with her. I am alowed to see my father when ever I want and I still have the choice of who I want to live with. The problem is that I know my mother will not consent to me moving because she uses my support money. How can I move without being dragged back by the courts? Also there was something about 'placement' and my mother has that right now?

    Any help will be greatly appreciated or even links to other sites that can help.



    Thankyou!Changing Child Custody Parent?I fought for my kids about 3 years ago. It was the best money I ever spent. Tell your dad to fight for you. The lives of the kids is more important than the adults.Changing Child Custody Parent?Explain to your mother in the nicest way that you can, either she consents to it now at 17 years old or you wait a few months an move out out when you turn 18 and things between you and her will not be happy.

    How do I word this court request?

    The clerk of courts called and told me I need to creat a document on %26quot;how to send the other parties there court papers%26quot; which would be done regular mail. However, I have to make the document and give it to them today. How do you word that in a professional court manner? It is on the change of custody from grandparents to the aunt....which all are in agreement. But I just need to %26quot;instruct the court on how to send the papers to the others for the court hearing%26quot; Any idea on the proper wording?



    And NO I am not going to %26quot;get an attorney%26quot; or call one!!How do I word this court request?Hello Christine! I am forwarding to your email an example of %26quot;Notice of Hearing%26quot; You will be able to format your own using this.



    The other answer you received is for Proof of Service not Notice of Hearing.How do I word this court request?A document which states how all parties to a court case received their copies of your document is called an Affidavit of Service or a Certificate of Service. It simply states that on a certain date you mailed the document to the parties by putting in an envelope with sufficient postage and placing the envelopes into the mailbox. You must make sure that you list all of the documents you mailed and the names and addresses of all the people that you mailed the documents to.

    Changing physical custody to relocate?

    My ex and I have joint physical and joint legal custody of our son. I have since remarried and have found a community I would like to move to. It is about 35min from my ex. We both have jobs out that way and they have an excellent school system. My son is with me 5 days out of the week currently. However my ex will not sign over full physical custody. While I know this doesn't determine custody, I provide insurance, school/tuition, clothing, etc. My ex does not pay the ordered child support. How do I go about this? I have told my ex that I will gladly let our son see him every weekend and anytime he would like. I just want him with me to go to school during the week.



    ThanksChanging physical custody to relocate?First start by stopping robbing your son. You are doing that when you don't have the child support enforced, thus depriving your son of the monies he is due from his parent. Assuming the child support is court-ordered, go back to court with your lawyer and ask that your child's father be placed in contempt-of-court and punished. And then have your lawyer have his bank accounts garnished and his tax refunds seized. And then after you have all your arrears, have any further child support done through the government system.



    After that, then ask the court for permission to relocate with your son. Since you are only within a half-hour drive from your ex, there is a strong chance that this will be granted, especially since your move is to be closer to your place of employment (and not to spite your ex) so that you will have more home-time to spend with your child (remember this). Don't move though until you get the court's permission.



    And then have your visitation set up through the courts. Your offer to let the child's father take him at any time is not a good one as he may take you up on that and then how could you plan any kind of family life? Children need a routine, not a dad who may show up any time, disrupt the family's activities and demand to take the child with him. I know you meant good things by this offer but you didn't see it through clearly.



    Get a good lawyer and let the lawyer handle this. Don't argue with your ex as that is only a recipe for trouble. Good luck.

    Child support and alimony in California?

    How much child support and alimony is given to a mother who has the children 70% of the time, is a stay at home mom of 2 (5 %26amp; 12) and has been married for over 18 yrs., and does joint custody change this amount?Child support and alimony in California?I'm not familiar with all of that but here's a calculator for California child support.



    http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/ChildS

    Child support and alimony in California?what y0u need is a lawyer n0t an answer 0n yah00 h0neyChild support and alimony in California?yes what you need is a lawyer and what you also need is to get a second job and not depend on the kids father to take care of you, but just his kids.

    How do I get a change in a custody order?

    A judgment of default was ordered against me, for not filling an appearance form, I showed up to every court date but didn't have the $175 fee to file, because of this my ex husband was granted sole custody of our 3 children, He is very neglectful about there care and I am worried about there safety, I can not afford to hire an attorney but need help, even if it is just advice on what I should do. does anyone know where I can go to get free legal aid on custody issues, or county's legal aid department does not get involved with any family court.How do I get a change in a custody order?Well you can file an order modification in the family court. When you go to court ask the clerk where can you get a legal aid they have all the information you need. You have to be under poverty level to qualify for an attorney. If you are a good mother I don't see the need for an attorney. You can also request a judge change tell them you don't want to see that judge you have rights under the law to protect you too. I find it strange that they took your kids for that simple thing it's weird there has to be more involved but that's your business. Just make sure that you get your kids back and play a good role for them. How do I get a change in a custody order?I am sorry to break in the news, but American courts do not look favorable on people who do not shower their lawyers in money.How do I get a change in a custody order?First you must take a good look at your situation and ask yourself, did I lose custody ONLY because I didn't have the money to file? That is a bit difficult to believe. You need to be honest with yourself and don't make any false accusations against him. If you are certain that he is not treating your children as they should be, you need to call your local division of family services and report him. Let them investigate and they will decide if those children need to be there. Too often, a parent is blinded and hurt by losing custody of their children, but for a woman to lose custody only because she did not have $175.00, well, I find that simply a lie. How do I get a change in a custody order?It usually takes a lot for the courts to grant custody to someone other than the Mother, so I also question this. That said, the only other option you have is see if your state or county has legal aid, which can usually be found under %26quot;lawyer%26quot; in the phone book. They can provide an attorney for low-cost to you.



    Best of luck.How do I get a change in a custody order?It's been a long time since I got my divorce, but I didn't have a lawyer and I retained custody of my 4 children. If I remember correctly, the courts have free or reduced fees if you are low income and without an attorney. You need to do a lot more research and educate yourself on the requirements of the courts where you live. I would think that your kids would have at least been worth the $175. Getting a change of custody is just about as easy as changing water into wine. Good luck.
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  • Change to sole custody of 7 yr old and restrict length of visitations?

    I am in Angelina County, Texas. I currently have joint custody with me being the primary parent. My 7 year old daughter is not liking her visits with her Dad. He lives about 100 miles away with his girlfriend and her two small children (4 and 2). He claims that she misbehaves down there and that myself and his mother %26quot;baby%26quot; her too much (his mother and I are close and she is very involved with raising her). He says that she needs to grow a backbone and toughen up, etc She has ADHD and he refuses to understand how this effects her or to learn methods of parenting her that would work better than screaming at her all day. I got off the phone with her a while ago and she was just in tears begging for me to come and get her and all the while he was in the background screaming at her to quit whining. I reassured her that she would be home in 5 days but she says it is too long, she just can't take it, can I please get her early, etc I told her I loved her and that it would all be okay. I feel so bad for her. He is bipolar and is verbally and emotionally abusive. He also has a criminal history (2 felonies). My daughter receives counselling and has said that her Dad yells a lot and spanks her. Can I get sole custody and reduce his visitation to no extended visits with her (like, a one week max at a time) as the extended visits seem to be worse for her, not so much the shorter visits. Can she speak in court, also?Change to sole custody of 7 yr old and restrict length of visitations?A father has rights too. If you have issues with the terms of visitation, you will need to have your case presented in court and let a judge decide what is in the best interests of all. Nothing that you've said in your description seems to be enough for a judge to change the visitation, but that would be my interpretation based on my experience. Being a bad parent does not affect one's ability to see their kids.Change to sole custody of 7 yr old and restrict length of visitations?This is a matter for the courts to decide. You will have to talk to your lawyer. It won't be pretty. But you will have to go through the courts.Change to sole custody of 7 yr old and restrict length of visitations?This is solely for the courts to decide.Change to sole custody of 7 yr old and restrict length of visitations?If he isn't treating his bipolar disorder, he can be ordered to do so to see his child. You can ask for a psychiatric evaluation (but expect to be given one yourself) which will help the judge to decide how to proceed.



    Your child can be appointed a Guardian ad Litum, who can investigate her situation and speak for her interests with the judge. It's in her interest to have an intact relationship with her dad, but he needs to be in control of himself when she's there. Shorter visits sound like a good idea, but facilitate the relationship for HER.



    You chose this man, mental illness, felony history and all to be the father of your child. Try to make it work for her sake.

    Change to sole custody of 7 yr old and restrict length of visitations?

    I am in Angelina County, Texas. I currently have joint custody with me being the primary parent. My 7 year old daughter is not liking her visits with her Dad. He lives about 100 miles away with his girlfriend and her two small children (4 and 2). He claims that she misbehaves down there and that myself and his mother %26quot;baby%26quot; her too much (his mother and I are close and she is very involved with raising her). He says that she needs to grow a backbone and toughen up, etc She has ADHD and he refuses to understand how this effects her or to learn methods of parenting her that would work better than screaming at her all day. I got off the phone with her a while ago and she was just in tears begging for me to come and get her and all the while he was in the background screaming at her to quit whining. I reassured her that she would be home in 5 days but she says it is too long, she just can't take it, can I please get her early, etc I told her I loved her and that it would all be okay. I feel so bad for her. He is bipolar and is verbally and emotionally abusive. He also has a criminal history (2 felonies). My daughter receives counselling and has said that her Dad yells a lot and spanks her. Can I get sole custody and reduce his visitation to no extended visits with her (like, a one week max at a time) as the extended visits seem to be worse for her, not so much the shorter visits. Can she speak in court, also?Change to sole custody of 7 yr old and restrict length of visitations?1) Can I get sole custody



    Not likely, based on what you are saying, but understand that there are three sides to every story, yours, his and the truth. In this forum we only hear your side, the judge will hear all sides. If your complaint is that he yells at her for misbehaving, no judge will rule on that alone.



    2) reduce his visitation to no extended visits with her



    See the answer to number 1



    3) Can she speak in court, also?



    A judge can allow her to speak, but is in no way obligated to follow her wishes.



    I am assuming he already had the felonies when he was granted joint custody, so their chances of that having any bearing now will be the same as it was in the first hearing. I also assume you brought up the proof of his bipolar as well as his verbal and emotional abuse when custody was originally granted, what did the judge say then? If this is a new diagnosis, then it could b e pertinent, if not then you may well be wasting your time.



    Contact a good family attorney for a consultation.

    Change in Joint Custody Question..?

    In Dec. of 2004 my x-husband and I were divorced. At that time, we decided that it would be best of the children stayed w/my x-husband and once I got settled and into my own place we would change over to where I would have the custodial rights. Just some info. We are both re-married, he is in the Air Force. I am worried that now that I am getting settled, that he will now change his mind on the situation and fight over the change over we originally discused. I unfortunatly did not get any of this on paper, due to the fact when it was all going on we were still great friends. I am wondering how hard of a battle I maybe looking at. Yes my kids are my world.. I just want them to be able to finally have a good stable home instead of worrying about having to pick up and move every few years.. I want them to be able to experience what I did as a child and have life long school friends %26amp; a steady home until they are older... If anyone knows if I have any hopes etc. please let me know!Change in Joint Custody Question..?Unfortunately, changing custody is going to very hard (even impossible) for you to do. The courts are reluctant to interfere in custody cases unless there is a clear danger to the children. They will not remove the children from your ex's home simply because you both made an agreement (I assume the agreement is not in writing?).

    You could always talk to him about sharing custody; you getting the kids all summer or something. Once something like that is established it is easier for you to go to court and say, %26quot;This is what we've always done and now I want to modify the custody agreement to reflect that.%26quot; The courts may be more likely to grant joint custody on that basis.

    But changing primary care givers without the consent of both parties is next to impossible.

    Don't put your kids through a long and vicious custody battle without a good reason! They will resent you for the upset of their lives and they will be put in the middle of something they shouldn't be. Beleive me, I know firsthand how destructive to a child's well being it can be! My parent's constant bickering over custody destroyed my childhood. Don't do that to your kids.

    Good luck.Change in Joint Custody Question..?There's always hope. Judges generally give rights to mothers. I'd get one of those free consultations with a lawyer.Change in Joint Custody Question..?Make sure you get an attorney that deals in childrens rights %26amp; go through a civil court. I had a horrible experience with the Air Force. My ex. had molested my eldest child %26amp; they gave him visitation rights. I nearly had a nervous breakdown but managed to get a judge that ordered he could not see the kids on his own. It was only when my ex. molested another child %26amp; the grandmother took him to civil court that he was sent to prison %26amp; my nightmare finished.

    You can't trust the Air Force: they will not be looking out for you or the best interest of your children.Change in Joint Custody Question..?Sometime it is according to the age of the kids, if they are older, and choose to come with you, usually no judge will fight that. It also helps if you have been faithful at visitation?...

    My daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?

    We live in Central Texas. My daughter is 16. How do I change over the custody from her mom to me. Her mom is agreeable to her moving in with me. However, I still pay her child support and the mom does not want to help with things like clothes and school suppleys. I dont need her help. But it is causing tension with my current wife (who unfortunately was married to a deadbeat dad that nevers supports my step-daughter). I have gone to the oag websites .....no help. They not helpful to dads(in my opinion) even the responsible ones.WHAT TO DO???My daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?File a motion with the Court to get custody modified.



    Well if you pay support you need to file a motion to also modify child support. And if the mother agreed to the child moving in with you soemtimes support will cease and the mother will not have to pay for the daughter since she is living with you. The terms of how this arrangment came to be will definitely be up for discussion in the judge making their decision.



    I know dads always get the short end of the stick - I am a woman and I hate that. It's like if you're the dad you're automatically an ******!



    But anyways...petition the Court to modify the parenting plan and modify/cease support obligations since your daughter is now living with you. You may not receive support from the mother if this was an agreed upon move. Keep paying support to your ex and when your order gets granted you wife will have to refund the support you have paid while your daughter is living with you!



    Good luck.My daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?A responsible father gets a lawyer.My daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?You will need to seek help from an attorney because you will have to modify the existing child support and custody orders. This is the only way that you can get out of paying support on your daughter without getting into trouble. Then you can seek child support from your daughter's mother.



    NOTE: Whoever is giving thumbs down is being silly. You have to modify the existing orders either with an attoney's help or you can do it pro se but you have to file a motion to modify the support order. The courts don't know that the custody has changed, and if he just stops paying child support on the current order without modifying it, he will be in arrears, which would lead to possible jail, DL being suspended.My daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?Several things. If the mother is willing to give up custody voluntarily, you can go to the county court house and get a form, both sign it, and then you file it. In general, you do not need lawyers on any part of this, if both parties are agreeable. Lawyers are only needed if the disagreements have to be resolved in court. The county clerk can not give legal advice, but they can tell you what forms are required to do what you want to do... and how to fill them out and file them. If you obtain full custody, then you should no longer have to pay child support... File that form also. She will have to sign, and if not, then you need a lawyer.My daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?go to court to change custody decree and child supportMy daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?Call your child support case worker with the state.

    Explain to this person what is going on. You might have to go back to court and get papers drawn up.

    I have not seen to many parents who pay child support come close to the money it actually costs to raise a kid.

    Two more years to go. You can now put this child on your taxes.

    Wish you well ~ with a teenager.My daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?GET AN ATTY. and make sure there are stipulations in the modifcation about you both paying towards her college. The money being paid to your daughter directly or the college.My daughter just moved in with me. What's the protocol for custody and child support change.?You are not suppose to pay her child support if your daughter lives with you. She has to pay child support even if she doesn't want to. Your daughter lives with you now so go to court and make her pay you something even if it just 10 bucks a week. Don't ruin your marriage over this. You need to put your current wife first and not your ex. Who cares about your ex wife you need to care about your current wife. You just need to go to court and file the paperwork. But you need to do it there is no reason your ex wife should be able to do this to you. Good luck.

    How do you move past the Friend of the Court and get directly in front of a judge? (for custody modification)?

    My husband is trying to get custody of his son from a bi-polar, uninvolved ex-wife and the FOC has falsified documents and lied to the court on her behalf as well as flat out telling my husband they won't consider his son's best interest and the only way they'll recomend a change in custody is if CPS takes her kids away and a court finds her to be unfit as a parent. He needs to get in front of a judge, but FOC won't allow him to appeal their %26quot;recomendation%26quot; to do that.How do you move past the Friend of the Court and get directly in front of a judge? (for custody modification)?What? That's BS...How do you move past the Friend of the Court and get directly in front of a judge? (for custody modification)?You do not want to do anything that will get you in front of a judge in a negative way.

    She will mess up. Do you know her neighbors? Are you close to anyone that is close to her? Does the child go to school or day care? They will be good sources to have contact with. When she does anything that would be harmful to your child in any way, they should contact you and also the Family and Children services. She may have to get the child taken away from her before you can get custody. Courts are unfair. They seem to favor women unless it can be proven she is unfit.
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  • How old do you have to be to change the child custody in texas?

    I have heard the law IS 14 for the child to choose which parent she or he wants to live with. Your mom may talk to your dad about this and tell him, that you don't want to make regular visits to his house anymore, and if he objects, then she might say, %26quot; that we can go to court over this and it could be a waste of time, since she is old enough to make up her mind who she want to stay with the most.%26quot; You don't say why you don't want to go to his house any more, but if it is not bad, you could make arrangements to make your visits shorter of less frequent. Talk to your mon and ask her to get in touch with her lawyer to see what yours and her rights are, for sure. Good luckHow old do you have to be to change the child custody in texas?Your mother can go back to court and ask for a Motion to Change visitation. The judge might take in to consideration your feelings, but might not. It's his or her prerogative.

    I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?

    Three weeks ago my ex filed for a change of custody that was rejected by the judge on the spot. This has happened in the past and was also rejected as the judge views this a personal attack against me and nothing to do with the children. The kids love their mom and I understand that. They love me as well and I would not tell them how nasty their mom is to me. Is there a point that the kids(the older ones) should know about what their mom does to me? Or will they find out on their own when they get older? Is there a way to tell them without casting their mom in a bad light?I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?Chances r she's already showing them by bad mouthing u!!! Hang in there, u'r kids will love u and know moms true colors when they're older!!!! Good Luck!!!I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?They will find out on their own, the 12 and 14 yr olds probably know more than you think they do. I am in a similar situation with my husband and his ex wife, the only reason she tries to take time from you, and I know this!!!! is because if you do not have Joint then she will get at LEAST twice as much money. always keep them as often as you can like you are doing. I also have a freind who is a child counselor and he states children know alot more than they lead on too. He also stated that when things are done against you to just state the facts, dont say %26quot;i hate your mother so much, she is so stupid, look at what she is trying to do%26quot;, and so on . Instead, if say she doesnt let them stay extra time with you for something you really want to do with them and she has no reason (which they never do, its just to spite you) say, %26quot;Well Im sorry but your mom says you cant go to the party with me, I dont know why%26quot; you see, just state the facts, do NOT involve your OPINION in the subject. that is all it takes. it should help to know that this did come from someone with a masters degree, my friend. good luck and stay positve, show them love.

    I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?

    Three weeks ago my ex filed for a change of custody that was rejected by the judge on the spot. This has happened in the past and was also rejected as the judge views this a personal attack against me and nothing to do with the children. The kids love their mom and I understand that. They love me as well and I would not tell them how nasty their mom is to me. Is there a point that the kids(the older ones) should know about what their mom does to me? Or will they find out on their own when they get older? Is there a way to tell them without casting their mom in a bad light?I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?It's not a good idea to talk to your children about what went wrong in your marriage. If they ask, just tell them you had some serious differences that you couldn't work out. You don't have to go into details. If they persist, just tell them it's not appropriate to go into this with them.I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?They'll find out on their own eventually. Be a good father and don't damage the kids by talking badly about their mother. Let her file all she wants.....the judge apparently knows what she's up to... Good luck :)I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?Boy can I relate. Been there, still there man. Here is the skinny. My ex and I signed a document, divorce degree, that says you will not bad mouth the other parent in front of the kids...so I don't. I would not tell them. I can't wait till each one turns 18 so that I can. I know it is hard. You can tell them that you are trying hard to work with their mom, but sometimes mom says and does some bad things. And leave it at that. If you go into detail, you might make one or more of them mad. After a while they will see her as she is. Give it time. I know it is hard...believe me. Best of luck. Hope this helps.I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?Kids know more than you think. Time will show them the truth, no need to drag them thru crapola and drama. Answer their questions as openly and candid as you can, without pointing a finger at their mom.I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?They will find out on their own... If you say anything to them about what there mother has done, they may tell her, and it could hurt you, the next time she decides to change the custody arrangements again...I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?It is better to let them formulate their own opinions. They don't need to know what she is doing to you. It is more important for them to decide how they feel about her based on how she treats them. Telling them anything remotely negative about their mother is not good.I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?sweetie believe me they will find out how nasty she is and how she has treated you in all this mess. they are too young right now for you to have that kind of talk with them. wait until they are much older and start to ask you why you and mom did this or did that than you break it down to them than and only at that point. right now they are too young and it will back fire on you and they will hate you. so continue to be you and love them to death and be there for them and never say a negative word about their mom in front of them. GodBlessI have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?They will find out on their own.



    If they ask, you can give them a bare bones account but do not bring it up. Its hard but its not about you.



    My ex told the judge i was a coke freak who gave drugs to my son and wanted all ties to me severed but for me to pay child support.



    I have custody and my son and he sees his dad whenever his dad asks for him (within reason) and I try not to allow my utter hatred for this man interfere with my son's relationship with him. He'll find out in the end I'm sure. all I can do is be a good as parent as possible.I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?You have been harping about this woman on YA for the past two years without stop. You have got to get a hobby or something. This is ridiculous. At some point you have to get over the divorce and stop desiring revenge. You complain about her in relation to the children but you constantly want to drag the children in the middle of it. Grow up and move on, and if you don't do it soon the children will grow up and move on before you do.I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?Do not tell them. The fact is she is being mean to YOU not them, so why should they hold that against her? Sounds like you want them to like you better.



    The adults got the divorce, not the children.I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?Oh please do not tell them. I have spent the past eight years in the middle of the same situation. I hate that my parents tell us anything. If their mom is a person who would do this, they will find out eventually.I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?There is no way to express it and show how she treats you that will soften the blow to them of how she really is to you... Stay strong, love those kids up because you sound from this like a loving daddy...



    As they grow up, it will become impossible for her to hide her true colors... They I am sure are already cued in, but children seem to hide these things..



    Keep a loving, close communication line open with them...



    Chin up! :o)I have been divorced for over 3 years and have joint custody of a 7,12, and 14 year old.?i would wait till they are a little older

    If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?

    My ex (we were NEVER married) wants 2 bring me 2 court 2 fight 4 custody of our newborn son. I did not let him be put on the birth certificate and so he would 1st have 2 prove he%26#039;s the father. We have an older son, who is 2. We have joint sole and physical custody. I had agree%26#039;d 2 it because I never knew my rights and trusted him and his family. I wish I could change his custody but idk if I can ?



    But he does have a new girlfriend he wants 2 marry and move in with and he has this dream of taking my kids (him and his mom have always threatend 2 take dem)...and living wit%26#039; her. She has her own newborn, (not his). I have pix her dumbass posted on myspace of her being pregnant and smoking weed. I also have pix of my bd like I stated, smoking, rolling up, and gangbanging. He wants 2 fight 4 a child he did not want, he wanted me 2 get an abortion, and he was NEVA der 4 da baby while I was pregnant. I also heard his gf popped pills and snorted pills while she was preggo too. His father drinks and has many pix too, he%26#039;s only 20. And plus he%26#039;s always arguing and getting in2 fights wit%26#039; his gfs bd cuz he claimes his gf is cheating wit%26#039; him (her bd). My bd wants 2 apperenlty join the army 2. He is Native American. He graduated HS and is using his tribal check 2 get his new place. I am on welfare, unfortunetly, recieve no child support (because dat is y dey got joint custody in da 1st place), but I do have a job. He has no job. And he%26#039;s friends wit%26#039; my boyfriend. He%26#039;s always trying 2 hang out wit%26#039; my bf and even when I was preggo, he%26#039;d come ova 2 his house on da days he had our oldest ! Meaning he wanted 2 come ova (usually he was drunk or high) and chill wit%26#039; him, instead of be wit%26#039; his son at home ! Now he has dat girl living wit%26#039; him at his mom%26#039;s house. Idk...any advice ?? Can I use all those pix ???



    I%26#039;m sorry about my spelling...I can write, I just wanted to explain everything as shortly as possible !! But yes I cans spell and write perfectly. I%26#039;m sorry for the misunderstanding !!!



    And by %26quot;gangbanging%26quot; I mean...he has pictures of himself, or him and a group of people throwing up gang signs and sporting their bandana%26#039;s and colors...plus I bet I could even print out copies of him talking about %26quot;getting at%26quot; someone and about him using drugs and such...he does comment his bis alot on myspace.



    I can just clearly see that if he moves out...my children won%26#039;t be in a good enviornment...I%26#039;m sure he%26#039;ll be doing all of what he already does just in his own (unsuperived) place now...and if his gf smoked and popped while she was pregnant, how good of a step mother could she really be to my children ??????



    I on the otherhand stay away from %26quot;the party scene%26quot;, I am 21 btw. Because I want to do more with my life %26quot;than that%26quot;. I just don%26#039;t know what I can really do about this situation !



    I could probably reopen my oldest sons case since there is a change, ei him wanting to move out on his own instead, right ?If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?i think these kids need foster homes. If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?I didn%26#039;t read the whole thing but to answer the main question, that would make her look real bad and give you a GREAT chance! DO IT!If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Yes, you could use those pix. Gather every bit of info you can. At the same time cover your a$$.

    Just an extra word of caution, if he takes the baby for a visit, and there isn%26#039;t a court order in place, he can refuse to return the baby, and there isn%26#039;t anything that the police or anyone can do, and it establishes the status quo, which judges are reluctant to change.If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?sorry, didn%26#039;t read all that because it was soooooooo loooooong! I skimmed through it all and would say yes, if you have a valid reason for thinking your children wiould be at risk living in his household, it would be definitely the right thing to do to introduce these photos of his lifestyle.



    BUT i would offer a couple of words of caution:

    make sure they%26#039;re fairly recent pictures - he could offer the defence that it was how he used to live but has since cleaned up his act because he wants to look after his kids and be a responsible parent etc etc so you%26#039;ll need to be confident that they%26#039;re recent enough to be taken as showing his current lifestyle.



    Make sure he doesn%26#039;t have anything similar against you. I know you stay away from the party scene but alot can be inferred from one photograph so if there was one party where you got a bit drunk or whatever be careful there are no pictures anywhere that might surface at the wrong moment. Judges etc tend to be more critical of what they perceive to be irresponsible mothers than they are of irresponsible fathers.



    Good luck!If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?I%26#039;m pretty sure you can do it. If i was you i%26#039;d show the pic in court and also fight till the end.If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?I understand where you are coming from and I dont blame you one bit for feeling the way you do. That doesnt sound like a very good environment to raise children. Sounds to me like you need to keep these kids away from him as much as possible. If I were you I would call CPS on his *** immediately and tell them whats goin on. Print out everything you can against him and dont let him know you are doing this until it comes time for court and then his surprise will come. you need to get your oldest son from him as soon as possible. Actually I am surprised he would want the kids since he sounds so active in gangbanging and doing drugs but some people are just stupid like that. I dont see that a judge will give him any kids with his lifestyle the way it is. Actually after you have enough evidence on him I would go to the court house and petition the court for sole custody of the oldest son and request he only have supervised visitation at most. If he can prove he is clean of drugs and done with his wild lifestyle onle then will he have a right to see his son and unfortuanetly you cant stop that. As far as the baby he has to prove he is the father first and I guess I would just wait on that considering he has to come up with money to have the testing done and in many situations they usually dont. Besides that after you already have custody of the older son he will have his hands full trying to get clean and get that taking care of and when the judge sees that there is no way he will win. Hope this helps you.

    Concerned Parent If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Use the pictures yes, it would definately help your case.If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Your best bet would be to call Child protective investigators(don%26#039;t mention it to anyone, he%26#039;ll find out) and have them show up and drug test him and her. Use the test (if it comes back positive), and the pictures in court. Open your oldest son%26#039;s case and use them in that one as well. You need to be prepared that they will investigate you as well. My ex has custody of my son. I had him drug tested and he popped positive for multiple things. My son lives with his mother now until I can take him back to court. Get all the dirt you can on him, and take his a@@ to court. Get Full custody of your babies, and get child support. That%26#039;s the only reason he wants custody.

    With CPI on the case your BD%26#039;s GF might get her baby taken away as well. I don%26#039;t think she needs to be a parent.If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?The thing is pictures might be seen as hear say since you can%26#039;t really prove what he was doing. They might also get thrown out by his defense! Your best bet is getting witnesses to his actions and having your lawyer request a drug screen. Your lawyer could also request an evaluation by a doctor! However unless you have some real bullet prof evidence you may find yourself having to except his visitation rights! Keep a journal of anything you find odd or abusive. If you have creditable witnesses to abuse make sure to keep the lawyer updated to witnesses and anything that might be concerning! Also have your lawyer request a guardian be appointed to your case for the child! You may feel that a guardian would be intrusive but they will actually be on your side in making sure the child is safe! The guardian will recommend to the judge if she/he feels the father is safe or unsafe! They will also make recommendations on what course of action to take! They will frequently inspect where dad lives and interview him! If he lets anything out about the drugs or things of that sort the guardian will not tolerate it and will set coarse of action against father. Even requesting emergency hearings!

    The last thing I recommend is getting a good child consular! This is good because the consular can write up information to use in your defense if she/he discovers anything concerning! I would not recommend talking to your child openly about things that are considered adult! Leave that to the consular! Now if your child brings it up of course talk about it but don%26#039;t make a point of trying to make dad look bad! Its better on your part if you never mention things like that!

    I know it is difficult but try your best to remain calm when in court! No showing emotion! The courts are neutral and will not be swayed by tears and screaming! This will be a difficult journey but well worth your child%26#039;s protection! Make sure you maintain your job and place of living! All these seemingly minor things are important! Good luck and hope it works out!If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?first make asure you have a lawyer, I have joint with shared physical custody of my two chilodren and I am in court alot, in order to change your original agreement you need to have a change of circumstances and with what you said it sounds like you have that. As for the %26quot;gangbang%26quot; stuff, as long as the child was not around at the time, I do not see the having too much of an effect I am not saying it is tasteful, but, as long as it did not effect the child, however, I would highly suggest you or you lawyer request a drug test at the initail court date. Also have his girlfriend test too if she is around the child, you may have to test also but as long as your test are negative and if his are positive that will pull alot of weight. Do not communicate anything to him that will help him prepare. Good luckIf I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Listen, do all you can to keep your babies, including playing dirty and showing those pictures. You have the burden of proof. And to ease your mind a little bit, no judge will take those children away from you and out them in the hands of the father unless you are proved to be an unfit mother, which doesn%26#039;t sound like you are. The custody courts have seen all of this before. I do understand how you feel, because I went through the exact same thing with my little girls father. And also, if you didn%26#039;t arrange custody the first time through the courts, go to them with the kids, and get a temporary order of custody, that way he can%26#039;t pull a fast one on you in the meantime, and that will show the courts that you%26#039;re serious. I%26#039;m pulling for you, sweetheart. Good luck, but I%26#039;m sure you%26#039;ll come home from court with those children in hand. If I have pix of my ex smoking weed, rolling up, and gangbanging, can I use it against him in child custody...?Yes but before you play that dirty, just cover your own a** and make sure he doesn%26#039;t have pictures of you doing the same or anything else on you, you could get the kids taken away altogether.