I am in desperate need of an attorney to help me file for full custody for my two daughters but I cannot afford the upfront $500-$700 fee that they all want to start the case. We already have an original court custody agreement where I get them every other weekend. They are in a horrid situation and their mother hs even been reported to SS and want take them to school on a regular basis. Does anyone know how I can find a lawyer near my city and state (Rocky Mount, NC) that will let me make payments or something like that? Please dont think that I cannot afford to take care of my daughters because I can and it will be even easier when the $700 a month child support payments (that support her drug and alcohol habit) would end. If I go get the paperwork for a change of custody (or whatever its called) and file it myself, I still have to go through the mandatory family mediation and then go to court. So, this would give me time to save for a lawyer. But how do I do this? Where do I get the paperwork? Do I stand a chance if she comes to mediation with a lawer even if he's inexperienced and cheap when I dont have one at all? I hate going forth without a lawyer but this may be my only option.How do I get help with filing for full custody in NC?Without knowing the intimate details of your situation. I cannot adequately answer your question. However, I am an NC lawyer and the firm I work with may be able to assist you in this matter. We can have a consult. Our firm does not charge for initial consultations. So, feel free to give us a call. The Peterkin Law Firm 919-233-7457 and you can discuss your situation with one of our attorneys.How do I get help with filing for full custody in NC?Yes I know. Ever know a poor attorney? Me neither. The legal system is absolutely guaranteed to keep those guys rich, I promise you.
About all you can do is google your state + family court + free legal advise, and see what you come up with.
It's the same for every state... attorneys everywhere.How do I get help with filing for full custody in NC?How the hell can she afford a lawyer if shes a druggie and an alcoholic?
Community Legal Services should be able to help you out.How do I get help with filing for full custody in NC?Contrary to popular belief, there are good-hearted attorneys out there who will work with you on payments. I found one for my divorce/custody case and now I work for another. My best advice is to get a lawyer, and to find one that will work with you, pick up the yellow pages and start calling. Don't limit yourself to your county either, check your surrounding counties. If one that you call doesn't accept payments, ask if they know someone who does.
You can also start with DSS. Tell them that you are aware that they have a file on your ex and that you would like to petition for custody to get them out of that situation and see what they tell you. They may remove the girls from the home and place them with you, thus negating the need for a custody fight.
If all else fails, the clerk of court has the paperwork to file any motions or petitions. But be warned that the clerk cannot help you fill them out; that constitutes practicing law, something that the clerk cannot do.
Start with DSS.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Looking for any tips that might help in a custody trial.?
My ex-boyfriend and I have been in family court system since 2003. We have a 7yr-old son. I had primary custody since day one. In 2007, he accused my current husbands minor children 6 %26amp; 8, of molesting my son. Myself, my husband and all of the children were investigated and in counseling. At that time, I thought that 50/50 custody would be wise to open the doors of communication, since they had always been poor between us. This did not last long, and we were soon back in court and I was trying to change the custody back. We went to co-parenting counseling several times with two different counselors, I was the one who sought out the counseling and begged him for it, he only went after the judge ordered him to. In Sep, 2008, I was awarded temporary primary custody based on the mediators recommendation. He asked for a trial, which is set for Nov 08. Can I get some advice please, on how to keep the temporary order permanent.
I have kept a journal of anything that has ever happend, police reports, as well as letters from family, my sons counselor, teacher, and any witnesses that were around when my ex and i had issues.
My ex has only been a contributing parent this last year, and my son, does not want to go back and forth, and my ex wasn't that great at contributing. He wouldn't even take him to his baseball games or practices, and would never communicate with me for the good of our son. It's hard to co-parent when the other parent won't communicate.
How can I submit personal reference letters to the court before trial so that they will be brought in as evidence?Looking for any tips that might help in a custody trial.?these are questions you should be asking your lawyer.
My wife and I have custody of our two grandchildren, each case was separate, so we've been through two of them. You've all ready been doing the most important thing, keep a journal and document EVERYTHING. My wife documented every visit, every phone call (which were few and far in between, which is why we got custody.) Trust me the judge will look at that journal. The first case was pretty easy, the second one was not so easy, because my step-daughter had a court appointed lawyer who fought hard for her, and kept convincing the female judge to give her more and more chances to improve herself. This went on over a year before the judge finally got sick of it and gave us custody. To this day I can't figure out why they would consider giving children back to a mother that never calls, visits or even asks about her children for years at a time. The most frustrating thing was the girl's lawyer kept painting my wife and I as the villians, we were trying to %26quot;steal her children.%26quot; The first one came home from the hospital after she was born, the step-daughter left, and didn't take her baby. The second one, children's services dropped off at our house, because she would leave the boy at people's houses for weeks at a time, while she was out partying.
Anyhow, keep up your journal, and get a good lawyer, no matter what it costs. The kids are worth it.
The lawyer can get your journal admitted. So keep it up. I'm telling you it saved our ***.Looking for any tips that might help in a custody trial.?The best tip, in fact the only tip: Get a lawyer.
This is not Judge Judy; this is real life.
Journals and letters may mean nothing. You do not know how to get evidence admitted. You may not know what is important for the judge to make a favorable decision.
Get a lawyer or forget about it.Looking for any tips that might help in a custody trial.?Yes, get a lawyer, but, has your son been interviewed, for instnace, by Social Services! Is your son capable of standing up for himself in court, and tell the judge what is really going on! What does HE want out of this mess!? Maybe he doesn't want to see his father, and what proof could the man possibly have concerning the molestation!? If the mediators have given you temp primary custody, go with that, but what I don't understand is, what reason is the EX making things difficult for you, do you know if he HAS an agenda, or just doing it for spite! Seems like he has money to keep yanking you into court!horrible cat AJAX in .net
I have kept a journal of anything that has ever happend, police reports, as well as letters from family, my sons counselor, teacher, and any witnesses that were around when my ex and i had issues.
My ex has only been a contributing parent this last year, and my son, does not want to go back and forth, and my ex wasn't that great at contributing. He wouldn't even take him to his baseball games or practices, and would never communicate with me for the good of our son. It's hard to co-parent when the other parent won't communicate.
How can I submit personal reference letters to the court before trial so that they will be brought in as evidence?Looking for any tips that might help in a custody trial.?these are questions you should be asking your lawyer.
My wife and I have custody of our two grandchildren, each case was separate, so we've been through two of them. You've all ready been doing the most important thing, keep a journal and document EVERYTHING. My wife documented every visit, every phone call (which were few and far in between, which is why we got custody.) Trust me the judge will look at that journal. The first case was pretty easy, the second one was not so easy, because my step-daughter had a court appointed lawyer who fought hard for her, and kept convincing the female judge to give her more and more chances to improve herself. This went on over a year before the judge finally got sick of it and gave us custody. To this day I can't figure out why they would consider giving children back to a mother that never calls, visits or even asks about her children for years at a time. The most frustrating thing was the girl's lawyer kept painting my wife and I as the villians, we were trying to %26quot;steal her children.%26quot; The first one came home from the hospital after she was born, the step-daughter left, and didn't take her baby. The second one, children's services dropped off at our house, because she would leave the boy at people's houses for weeks at a time, while she was out partying.
Anyhow, keep up your journal, and get a good lawyer, no matter what it costs. The kids are worth it.
The lawyer can get your journal admitted. So keep it up. I'm telling you it saved our ***.Looking for any tips that might help in a custody trial.?The best tip, in fact the only tip: Get a lawyer.
This is not Judge Judy; this is real life.
Journals and letters may mean nothing. You do not know how to get evidence admitted. You may not know what is important for the judge to make a favorable decision.
Get a lawyer or forget about it.Looking for any tips that might help in a custody trial.?Yes, get a lawyer, but, has your son been interviewed, for instnace, by Social Services! Is your son capable of standing up for himself in court, and tell the judge what is really going on! What does HE want out of this mess!? Maybe he doesn't want to see his father, and what proof could the man possibly have concerning the molestation!? If the mediators have given you temp primary custody, go with that, but what I don't understand is, what reason is the EX making things difficult for you, do you know if he HAS an agenda, or just doing it for spite! Seems like he has money to keep yanking you into court!
What is the right custody arrangement?
Ok, so here is my situation. My ex-husband works A LOT! He always has and I%26#039;ve accepted that he always will. Here is my problem: he currently has every other weekend and every Thursday night (that way on his weekends he has a good chunk of time with our 3 year old son). That works fine in the winter, but once the weather gets warmer, he starts working 6 days a week, then 7.
Last summer his working (and leaving my son with babysitters and family) really upset my son. His behavior got out of control, he cried all the time for his Dad, and he was upset that he had to sleep at other people%26#039;s houses. (I%26#039;m not sure why the over nights.. he only works during the day.) Anyway, now we are in that season again and the issues are starting already.
It should be noted that things between me and my ex are terrible. He%26#039;s got some medically diagnosed mental issues so he%26#039;s difficult to deal with. Anyway, bottom line is that I just told him this morning that from now on if he is working, he can%26#039;t have my son.
I realize that this is already going to cause instability for my son - never knowing when he%26#039;ll see his dad, different days of the week - and that%26#039;s what I really want to avoid. However I think more time with me and varied visitation with his Dad is better than being bounced around.
So, finally, here is my question: my ex-husband asked if since he won%26#039;t have weekends again until July (at which point he%26#039;ll have Sunday%26#039;s) can he have him more during the week.
What do I do? How much change to I allow? Is it okay to change the custody completely 3 times a year based on the season? Please help!!!What is the right custody arrangement?A three-year-old doesn%26#039;t have much of a sense of time and won%26#039;t be confused by an irregular visitation schedule, he just needs some dad-time. What%26#039;s a %26quot;random visit%26quot; to you is just another pleasant event to a three-year-old. He doesn%26#039;t know what day or time anything happens yet.
If week-day overnights are difficult, a few good hours when dad can be relaxed with him would be better than waiting longer between visits for longer visits. It won%26#039;t hurt to keep it loose-but-often this way at least until he starts school and requires a more stable schedule. I wouldn%26#039;t even push the overnights at this age, coming home to his own bed will provide plenty of stability to be fine with an irregular visitation schedule.
I know it%26#039;s hard to feel like you%26#039;re knocking yourself out to accommodate somebody you probably don%26#039;t like much right now Just try to keep reminding yourself that all this energy making visits with his dad work out is an excellent investment in your son%26#039;s self-image and emotional well-being years down the road.
Sounds like you%26#039;re really giving it your best effort....and I%26#039;m confident your best is going to be plenty good enough.What is the right custody arrangement?I say work with him. He wants his son, let himhave him to spend time with him. Make sure that he is actually going to be with his dad and then go with it. Your son will thank you for it someday!What is the right custody arrangement?Bottom line. Your kid won%26#039;t care what day of the week he sees his dad. He will only care THAT he sees his dad.What is the right custody arrangement?You are legally in the wrong, and your ex could take you to court and easily override your prohibition against him working during visitation.
Single parents work, especially dads, and you can%26#039;t prohibit visitation based on that.
In addition to being contrary to law, it%26#039;s unethical of you to take this position.
If you didn%26#039;t want your child to spend time alone with his dad, with his dad in charge, deciding how he would be cared for, you should have stayed married.
EDIT: Confuse him in what way? Children are incredibly adaptable. It%26#039;s hard to believe you%26#039;re flexible when you seem rigid and controlling. It%26#039;s also unconscionable to inhibit visitation because your ex lets you call all the shots.What is the right custody arrangement?Yes, it%26#039;s certainly OK to change custody 3 times/year based on the season. Custody is for the benefit of the child, and not something that must fit any arbitrary distinction you want to make. Since the father leaves the boy with others when he%26#039;s working, it makes sense that your son stay with you at those times--it%26#039;s better for your son that way. It%26#039;s also good for your son to see his father, so it%26#039;s not unreasonable of your ex to want time made up if time is taken away at other points of the year. If your ex is a REAL asshole, then he%26#039;ll refuse to allow you to change things without a new custody hearing in court, and you may find that you lose and your son gets to stay with him even though he leaves the boy with a sitter--which would be awful. It is better if the two of you can work out an equitable arrangement without that interference--an arrangement that will be best for your son. Because as it is now, I don%26#039;t think you have the legal right to say he %26quot;can%26#039;t have my son.%26quot; It%26#039;s the court%26#039;s decision, not yours. So if your husband nevertheless is working with you on this, then you should work with him on it, too.What is the right custody arrangement?I think compromising for the best interest of your child is what%26#039;s right. If your ex can spend time with him on Thursday nights, and your child wants to be there, you should let him. Allow as much change as you need to make your son happy.
I commend you for keeping an open mind even though your ex husband can be difficult. I hope more single parents take a positive example from your post. Your priorities are in the right place. Good luck to you.What is the right custody arrangement?Every situation is unique. Having said that, every developmental book on the topic recommends frequent contact with BOTH parents unless a parent is abusive. Can you find some room for compromise that allows more time with his dad? Even a few hours each evening is better then infrequent contact. And it is perfectly fine to change the schedule as often as you need to in order for him to see his dad and in order for you to feel comfortable your son is well cared for.
My ex has a crazy work schedule. He works a rotating 12 hour shift. We have arranged it so when he is on night work, the kids stay with me. But any other time, he sees them frequently. It means a mess for me to keep track of because some weeks it means they spend 3 nights with him, some weeks they spend 4 nights, some weeks 2 nights. But it is best for THEM.
I have to remind myself of that frequently when I am trying to figure out if I have a free weekend or can plan a work related trip.
And their dad and I do NOT have a good relatioship either. I%26#039;ve learned to ignore the %26#039;grunts%26#039; and just keep my head up.
My two are in middle school now and it is VERY hard at times. Homework gets left at one house or the other, musical instruments get left behind, and don%26#039;t even get me started on school projects that require a week or more to complete. Those age me 10 years trying to keep track of what their dad has helped with and what I need to help them finish up.
Just keep what is best for your son as the objective and it will be fine.What is the right custody arrangement?Your son is very young and stability is important. However, it is also important that his father be an ongoing and well-established part of the boy%26#039;s life. I recommend that you be as flexible with schedules as you can, accommodating your ex%26#039;s schedules where it is possible to include more time during the week if he will be with his son during that visitation.
You are on good ground to insist that if your 3 year old son is visiting with his father, then he ought not to be sent to babysitters or other relatives to accommodate your ex%26#039;s work at those times. As for changing timing during the year, just put every change (and the reason for it) in writing and both of you sign it as a %26quot;temporary%26quot; change to visitation. As your son gets older and school becomes a factor, much of this will go away.What is the right custody arrangement?yeah work with him. he should spend all the time he can with his son.
don%26#039;t interfere with their bond, your son may resent you for this in the future.
asWhat is the right custody arrangement?First of all, you%26#039;re too hung up on what is court ordered. Court orders are for people who can%26#039;t figure it out on thier own.
Secondly, your child has the right to see both parents as much as possible. If you were still together, your child would only see his dad when dad was not working. So.. what makes this any different?
What will be best for you son is to be allowed to spend time with his dad whenever his dad can see him (unless it interferes with previous plans you%26#039;ve already made). Don%26#039;t worry about %26quot;changing custody%26quot;. Your son has no clue what the custody agreement is. Just be loving parents.
Last summer his working (and leaving my son with babysitters and family) really upset my son. His behavior got out of control, he cried all the time for his Dad, and he was upset that he had to sleep at other people%26#039;s houses. (I%26#039;m not sure why the over nights.. he only works during the day.) Anyway, now we are in that season again and the issues are starting already.
It should be noted that things between me and my ex are terrible. He%26#039;s got some medically diagnosed mental issues so he%26#039;s difficult to deal with. Anyway, bottom line is that I just told him this morning that from now on if he is working, he can%26#039;t have my son.
I realize that this is already going to cause instability for my son - never knowing when he%26#039;ll see his dad, different days of the week - and that%26#039;s what I really want to avoid. However I think more time with me and varied visitation with his Dad is better than being bounced around.
So, finally, here is my question: my ex-husband asked if since he won%26#039;t have weekends again until July (at which point he%26#039;ll have Sunday%26#039;s) can he have him more during the week.
What do I do? How much change to I allow? Is it okay to change the custody completely 3 times a year based on the season? Please help!!!What is the right custody arrangement?A three-year-old doesn%26#039;t have much of a sense of time and won%26#039;t be confused by an irregular visitation schedule, he just needs some dad-time. What%26#039;s a %26quot;random visit%26quot; to you is just another pleasant event to a three-year-old. He doesn%26#039;t know what day or time anything happens yet.
If week-day overnights are difficult, a few good hours when dad can be relaxed with him would be better than waiting longer between visits for longer visits. It won%26#039;t hurt to keep it loose-but-often this way at least until he starts school and requires a more stable schedule. I wouldn%26#039;t even push the overnights at this age, coming home to his own bed will provide plenty of stability to be fine with an irregular visitation schedule.
I know it%26#039;s hard to feel like you%26#039;re knocking yourself out to accommodate somebody you probably don%26#039;t like much right now Just try to keep reminding yourself that all this energy making visits with his dad work out is an excellent investment in your son%26#039;s self-image and emotional well-being years down the road.
Sounds like you%26#039;re really giving it your best effort....and I%26#039;m confident your best is going to be plenty good enough.What is the right custody arrangement?I say work with him. He wants his son, let himhave him to spend time with him. Make sure that he is actually going to be with his dad and then go with it. Your son will thank you for it someday!What is the right custody arrangement?Bottom line. Your kid won%26#039;t care what day of the week he sees his dad. He will only care THAT he sees his dad.What is the right custody arrangement?You are legally in the wrong, and your ex could take you to court and easily override your prohibition against him working during visitation.
Single parents work, especially dads, and you can%26#039;t prohibit visitation based on that.
In addition to being contrary to law, it%26#039;s unethical of you to take this position.
If you didn%26#039;t want your child to spend time alone with his dad, with his dad in charge, deciding how he would be cared for, you should have stayed married.
EDIT: Confuse him in what way? Children are incredibly adaptable. It%26#039;s hard to believe you%26#039;re flexible when you seem rigid and controlling. It%26#039;s also unconscionable to inhibit visitation because your ex lets you call all the shots.What is the right custody arrangement?Yes, it%26#039;s certainly OK to change custody 3 times/year based on the season. Custody is for the benefit of the child, and not something that must fit any arbitrary distinction you want to make. Since the father leaves the boy with others when he%26#039;s working, it makes sense that your son stay with you at those times--it%26#039;s better for your son that way. It%26#039;s also good for your son to see his father, so it%26#039;s not unreasonable of your ex to want time made up if time is taken away at other points of the year. If your ex is a REAL asshole, then he%26#039;ll refuse to allow you to change things without a new custody hearing in court, and you may find that you lose and your son gets to stay with him even though he leaves the boy with a sitter--which would be awful. It is better if the two of you can work out an equitable arrangement without that interference--an arrangement that will be best for your son. Because as it is now, I don%26#039;t think you have the legal right to say he %26quot;can%26#039;t have my son.%26quot; It%26#039;s the court%26#039;s decision, not yours. So if your husband nevertheless is working with you on this, then you should work with him on it, too.What is the right custody arrangement?I think compromising for the best interest of your child is what%26#039;s right. If your ex can spend time with him on Thursday nights, and your child wants to be there, you should let him. Allow as much change as you need to make your son happy.
I commend you for keeping an open mind even though your ex husband can be difficult. I hope more single parents take a positive example from your post. Your priorities are in the right place. Good luck to you.What is the right custody arrangement?Every situation is unique. Having said that, every developmental book on the topic recommends frequent contact with BOTH parents unless a parent is abusive. Can you find some room for compromise that allows more time with his dad? Even a few hours each evening is better then infrequent contact. And it is perfectly fine to change the schedule as often as you need to in order for him to see his dad and in order for you to feel comfortable your son is well cared for.
My ex has a crazy work schedule. He works a rotating 12 hour shift. We have arranged it so when he is on night work, the kids stay with me. But any other time, he sees them frequently. It means a mess for me to keep track of because some weeks it means they spend 3 nights with him, some weeks they spend 4 nights, some weeks 2 nights. But it is best for THEM.
I have to remind myself of that frequently when I am trying to figure out if I have a free weekend or can plan a work related trip.
And their dad and I do NOT have a good relatioship either. I%26#039;ve learned to ignore the %26#039;grunts%26#039; and just keep my head up.
My two are in middle school now and it is VERY hard at times. Homework gets left at one house or the other, musical instruments get left behind, and don%26#039;t even get me started on school projects that require a week or more to complete. Those age me 10 years trying to keep track of what their dad has helped with and what I need to help them finish up.
Just keep what is best for your son as the objective and it will be fine.What is the right custody arrangement?Your son is very young and stability is important. However, it is also important that his father be an ongoing and well-established part of the boy%26#039;s life. I recommend that you be as flexible with schedules as you can, accommodating your ex%26#039;s schedules where it is possible to include more time during the week if he will be with his son during that visitation.
You are on good ground to insist that if your 3 year old son is visiting with his father, then he ought not to be sent to babysitters or other relatives to accommodate your ex%26#039;s work at those times. As for changing timing during the year, just put every change (and the reason for it) in writing and both of you sign it as a %26quot;temporary%26quot; change to visitation. As your son gets older and school becomes a factor, much of this will go away.What is the right custody arrangement?yeah work with him. he should spend all the time he can with his son.
don%26#039;t interfere with their bond, your son may resent you for this in the future.
asWhat is the right custody arrangement?First of all, you%26#039;re too hung up on what is court ordered. Court orders are for people who can%26#039;t figure it out on thier own.
Secondly, your child has the right to see both parents as much as possible. If you were still together, your child would only see his dad when dad was not working. So.. what makes this any different?
What will be best for you son is to be allowed to spend time with his dad whenever his dad can see him (unless it interferes with previous plans you%26#039;ve already made). Don%26#039;t worry about %26quot;changing custody%26quot;. Your son has no clue what the custody agreement is. Just be loving parents.
Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?
My wife and I have 2 kids each from previous marrages both of us have primary custody and have been married for 7 years with a good and stable home and income. My wifes 13 yr old son wants to live with his father across the country which is remarried with a new son and works alot, he is not a bad guy but was the one the left the marrage and the kids about 9 yrs ago. Our son has a sister that is 10 and dont want to leave us plus the bond of the my 2 kids(boy and girl similiar ages) with them over the years. What is the possiable out come of a change of custody battle with her X and will the fact the he has a sister, step brother and sister and step father that love him. Will a Va court allow him to go with his father? My wife and I love all of our children how can he split up the family by infuencing our son to want to do this? What factors will be a decisive in our situation?Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?You only get one childhood. In the end you have to worry about all of them, but he has to worry about himself.
AFAIK, most states will take the wishes of a child his age into consideration.
It really doesn't matter who left the relationship or anything like that. You're a bit too emotionally invested in this which is why a judge will make this decision. They will weigh the wants of the child vs the needs of the child and both environments.
If I was your kid and you were blocking me, you would be dramatically damaging your relationship with me and it would probably not be a great example for the other kids and would harm the family dynamic and set some bad examples on respect for the kids. There's more to prevent than just his leaving. If you let him leave positively you are preventing a lot of heartache all around.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?Sorry to tell you this but the son being 13 is old enough for the courts to listen to....if he goes into court and says he wants to live with his dad they will let him.....especially when the father is normally a good guy.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?Go talk to a lawyer. Only they can tell you the outcome.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?All of these questions will be answered by a judge and depend on the laws of your state and the skill of your attorney.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?first of all he is 13 what he wants will matter slightly, but your missing key issues here, has the father maintained a regular visitation with his son? If not breathe easy, and no judge in his/her right mind is going to split up the family unit unless there is allegations of abuseWifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?at his age it is no longer your decision if you take this to court and he tells the judge he wants to live with his dad and his dad isn't deemed unfit then that is what will happen. For you it may seem like breaking up your family but that is his father and his family as well. And I know it is hard but he does deserve the chance to be with his father. He might like it he might not but you have to do what is in his best interest. There is also the fact that if you don't let him he may resent you... just a few things to think about...
Good Luck!Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?Although you guys have given him love ,comfort and a safe living .he still deserves to see his father or be with his father.
the more you hold or stop this the13yr old will have a negative outlook at you for doing this. let it go and let him learn from himself which is a better place for him .. no matter what you do if it is good he will come back . if not he will have fond memories . He's at the age of exploring .and i know your intentions are good . but his father 's intentions are good as well.. Good lick and be strong..Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?If he petitions the court to reverse custody, get a therapist saying why it is not in the child's best interest to change, and instead, the ex hubby should be flying in and seeing his son more often, instead of be ling disassociated from the kid.
You probably have the lo aw on your side, because hubby is way out of the area, and you can object to change of custody, but allow ex hubby moire sustain by coming to yo9Ur covenant.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?try to find out weakness of x father. that will support youWifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?SON IS NEED OF MOTHER GIVE HERWifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?Most boys of that age want and need to be with their fathers. It is shameful that his mother and father live across the country from each other! If you want him in your life so badly and the kid wants to live with his father, move your family to where the father lives. That way you could have more visitation with him.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?My ex did the same think. We had been divorced 8 years and I had remarried. He remarried had 2 kids and decided he wanted mine too. I don't have other children. They where 12 and 14 when he decided to do this. He lives 7 hours from us. They have been at the same school, friends, etc. But the difference in my case was .My ex was abusive in our marriage, which believe it or not does not matter?? Very manipulative, narcissistic. He only saw the kids on Summer brake for 6 weeks, a week Christmas, a week Thanksgiving. For 8 years he never came to a birthday, they both played baseball, basketball, soccer, track, and cheerleader and NEVER watched them play. He did pay 200.00 a month child-support sometimes(funny, he thought I was spending it on myself)but never helped me pay any Dr. bills either. Anyway, one summer he asked them if they wanted to live with him, they said yes Dad, he took them to a Counselor and they told her they wanted to live with him. It was HELL, I was freaking out. I did not understand. I will give God all the credit for this, but he ended up getting a Hot shot lawyer, I had a good lawyer I wish I could go into detail here cause it may help but it would be long, Long story short , this took 3 years and 10,000.00 dollars. My youngest daughter ended up coming to me after a year now, and said she did not want to go and she told me these wild stories her Dad was telling them. INSANE!! Which we could not prove but gave me something to look for. He tried making me and my husband look like trash. It was bad, bad. I would not wish this on anyone. But, The good thing that came out of this. I won, and they increased my child support to 600.00 and he has to pay Dr. bills.the look on his face. PRICELESS!! Advice. Keep a journal with dates and times anytime the child sees the Father and note anything. Very important cause you forget and it will take a long time. Look under parental alienation, and there are 12 guidlines they go by. My oldest actually said she wanted to live with her Father. He was abusive to me, I could not let her go. He did not see the kids for 2 years after he lost. Good Luck. I will be praying for you. Your wife will need you.
AFAIK, most states will take the wishes of a child his age into consideration.
It really doesn't matter who left the relationship or anything like that. You're a bit too emotionally invested in this which is why a judge will make this decision. They will weigh the wants of the child vs the needs of the child and both environments.
If I was your kid and you were blocking me, you would be dramatically damaging your relationship with me and it would probably not be a great example for the other kids and would harm the family dynamic and set some bad examples on respect for the kids. There's more to prevent than just his leaving. If you let him leave positively you are preventing a lot of heartache all around.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?Sorry to tell you this but the son being 13 is old enough for the courts to listen to....if he goes into court and says he wants to live with his dad they will let him.....especially when the father is normally a good guy.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?Go talk to a lawyer. Only they can tell you the outcome.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?All of these questions will be answered by a judge and depend on the laws of your state and the skill of your attorney.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?first of all he is 13 what he wants will matter slightly, but your missing key issues here, has the father maintained a regular visitation with his son? If not breathe easy, and no judge in his/her right mind is going to split up the family unit unless there is allegations of abuseWifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?at his age it is no longer your decision if you take this to court and he tells the judge he wants to live with his dad and his dad isn't deemed unfit then that is what will happen. For you it may seem like breaking up your family but that is his father and his family as well. And I know it is hard but he does deserve the chance to be with his father. He might like it he might not but you have to do what is in his best interest. There is also the fact that if you don't let him he may resent you... just a few things to think about...
Good Luck!Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?Although you guys have given him love ,comfort and a safe living .he still deserves to see his father or be with his father.
the more you hold or stop this the13yr old will have a negative outlook at you for doing this. let it go and let him learn from himself which is a better place for him .. no matter what you do if it is good he will come back . if not he will have fond memories . He's at the age of exploring .and i know your intentions are good . but his father 's intentions are good as well.. Good lick and be strong..Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?If he petitions the court to reverse custody, get a therapist saying why it is not in the child's best interest to change, and instead, the ex hubby should be flying in and seeing his son more often, instead of be ling disassociated from the kid.
You probably have the lo aw on your side, because hubby is way out of the area, and you can object to change of custody, but allow ex hubby moire sustain by coming to yo9Ur covenant.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?try to find out weakness of x father. that will support youWifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?SON IS NEED OF MOTHER GIVE HERWifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?Most boys of that age want and need to be with their fathers. It is shameful that his mother and father live across the country from each other! If you want him in your life so badly and the kid wants to live with his father, move your family to where the father lives. That way you could have more visitation with him.Wifes X want custody of our 13 year old son, how can we prevent this?My ex did the same think. We had been divorced 8 years and I had remarried. He remarried had 2 kids and decided he wanted mine too. I don't have other children. They where 12 and 14 when he decided to do this. He lives 7 hours from us. They have been at the same school, friends, etc. But the difference in my case was .My ex was abusive in our marriage, which believe it or not does not matter?? Very manipulative, narcissistic. He only saw the kids on Summer brake for 6 weeks, a week Christmas, a week Thanksgiving. For 8 years he never came to a birthday, they both played baseball, basketball, soccer, track, and cheerleader and NEVER watched them play. He did pay 200.00 a month child-support sometimes(funny, he thought I was spending it on myself)but never helped me pay any Dr. bills either. Anyway, one summer he asked them if they wanted to live with him, they said yes Dad, he took them to a Counselor and they told her they wanted to live with him. It was HELL, I was freaking out. I did not understand. I will give God all the credit for this, but he ended up getting a Hot shot lawyer, I had a good lawyer I wish I could go into detail here cause it may help but it would be long, Long story short , this took 3 years and 10,000.00 dollars. My youngest daughter ended up coming to me after a year now, and said she did not want to go and she told me these wild stories her Dad was telling them. INSANE!! Which we could not prove but gave me something to look for. He tried making me and my husband look like trash. It was bad, bad. I would not wish this on anyone. But, The good thing that came out of this. I won, and they increased my child support to 600.00 and he has to pay Dr. bills.the look on his face. PRICELESS!! Advice. Keep a journal with dates and times anytime the child sees the Father and note anything. Very important cause you forget and it will take a long time. Look under parental alienation, and there are 12 guidlines they go by. My oldest actually said she wanted to live with her Father. He was abusive to me, I could not let her go. He did not see the kids for 2 years after he lost. Good Luck. I will be praying for you. Your wife will need you.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Anyone ever been in a custody battle?
I am currently in a custody battle with me ex. At this time what the other party is stating in 100% not true. The judge seems to believe the plat. over me because of her education. My ex recently found out I was dating someone new after 2 years of being divorced. My son does not know the person I date since I don't don't feel we are ready for that step yet. Since then my ex has hired a private investigator to follow me and my new partner and now has filed for change of custody (we both have joint full custody and share the time down the middle). My new partner feels harassed by all of this since the my ex has files, photos and video tapes of us doing every day tasks. Shopping, eating, talking to friends, etc. My ex also put a GPS on my car without my knowledge. Not to mention the numerous times she drives by my partner's house. I am scared I am going to lose my son because my ex does not want me to date anyone. I am a good parent and love my child. I enjoy and look forward to every min I get to spend with him. Please let me know if you have any advise how to help the judge see that my ex is upset for her own reasons and that I am no less the parent I have been for the last 6 years of his life. Anyone ever been in a custody battle?A judge is not going to take custody away because of the things you stated. THe GPS I think is illegal without your knowledge. THe judge will take your rights away if you have hurt the child in any way. GOOD LUCK Anyone ever been in a custody battle?First of all, if you have joint legal custody then its going to be hard for your ex to take that away from you if you've been a good parent in the past. You can see whoever you want, it's just your ex being jealous so dont let that bother you. I would still contact a family law attorney tho and do the free consult and see what they think, but I personally think the judge wont change the existing order....Anyone ever been in a custody battle?Talk to your attorney about the matter. It takes a lot more than dating after a divorce to lose joint custody and be sure to have your attorney present at future hearings.Anyone ever been in a custody battle?You can request a psychological evaluation and I suggest that you do. Also you should get restraining order/ order of protection for you and your partner. Get a lawyer. They can not take away your rights...the best interest of the child is to have both parents in its life. As long as the parent wants involvement there is little that can be done to remove that.
Listen my x had not seen my daughters in 1 1/2 years and we went to court bc I filed to modify his visitation schedule since he does not exercise that right and the judge gave him a month to regain his visitation schedule and get himself together..
Good luck there is always hopeAnyone ever been in a custody battle?I'm a little confused here. Your picture shows you as a woman. You refer to the person you are dating as HE and you refer to your ex that you have joint full custody of your son with as SHE.
The fact is you have been divorced for two years and according to you, your son has not even met your new partner. You have the right to date anyone you want. You are free and your divorce gives you the right to date and see other people. As long as this partner is not sleeping in your house when your son is home, there is no way your ex can say your are an unfit parent. Yes she can prove you are dating, but you have a right to do that, but she can't prove you are not a good parent. Shopping and eating with your new partner and the two of you talking to your friends, does not make you an unfit parent. I would file for a restraining order against your ex for harassment and illegally putting a GPS on your car.
I would seriously contact a lawyer and find out what your rights are and how you can put a stop to what your ex is doing to you and your partner.
Listen my x had not seen my daughters in 1 1/2 years and we went to court bc I filed to modify his visitation schedule since he does not exercise that right and the judge gave him a month to regain his visitation schedule and get himself together..
Good luck there is always hopeAnyone ever been in a custody battle?I'm a little confused here. Your picture shows you as a woman. You refer to the person you are dating as HE and you refer to your ex that you have joint full custody of your son with as SHE.
The fact is you have been divorced for two years and according to you, your son has not even met your new partner. You have the right to date anyone you want. You are free and your divorce gives you the right to date and see other people. As long as this partner is not sleeping in your house when your son is home, there is no way your ex can say your are an unfit parent. Yes she can prove you are dating, but you have a right to do that, but she can't prove you are not a good parent. Shopping and eating with your new partner and the two of you talking to your friends, does not make you an unfit parent. I would file for a restraining order against your ex for harassment and illegally putting a GPS on your car.
I would seriously contact a lawyer and find out what your rights are and how you can put a stop to what your ex is doing to you and your partner.
Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?
The ex says he is going to file for change of custody because he is jealous of how much time I actually get to spend time with the kids. I know myself he can not handle them all the time because when we lived together he wanted nothing to do with them, made them spend hours in their room. I just dont think it would be fair to the kids if they livedd with their father, he never wanted to bond with them when I was with him. I am the one who always took the kids to events, and fun places while he sat on his rear end watching t.v. I told my ex I filed for custodial and made it so he only got weekends because I knew he couldnt handle all three kids for no more than a weekend at a time.
What should I do in this case?Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Your ex will have to present the court with a compelling reason why custody should be changed. Jealosy over the time you get to spend with the children is not a compelling reason.
If he has evidence that you are incompetent as the custodial parent, that would a reason that the court may consider. Of course you would be given an opportunity to refute his evidence.
If he serves you with papers you should consult a lawyer.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?noCan my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Sounds like your ex is just trying to rattle you. Don't let him get to you. Keep being a good mom and do what's best for you and your kids. If he's jealous of the time you have with your kids then tell him to plan some quality time on his weekends with them. Perhaps he's finally seeing what he's losing? Good luck to you.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Depending on how old your children are, the judge will take into consideration their feelings.
But yes, he can, he could and he might.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Talk to your lawyer but I agree with one of the other answers people who states that he would have to show proof besides jealously... that doesn't cut it. How old are the kids? I know here 12 year olds are allowed saying with whom they would like to go. Good luck to youCan my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?He will need to file a petition with the court to change custody. He will have to prove to the judge his reasons for changing his custody agreement since he obviously agreed to what was filed. It sounds to me like he's angry with you and this is one way to push your buttons. I would just wait to see if you receive anything from the courts regarding another hearing. Just remember, everytime he goes to court, it will cost....Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?He cant take the kids unless he proves to the court that your a bad mother which it sounds like your a very good mother. Unfortunatley having kids means having 2 parents usually and it sounds like your ex is bitter. The court is set up that they want parents to share in visitation because they believe it is in the best interest of the children. In my case and all i have seen the courts lean towards the mother having the most time spent with the kids. Dont get mad at your ex, instead say o.k. I will agree to every other weekend and maybe 2 days a week and dont give anymore and then when he sees hes not affecting you he will let up and probably not show up for the visits. Relax the courts on on the moms side.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?With your lawyer start creating a schedual of all three children's activites for the week, month, and even year. Your husband will challenge custody and it is his right to do so. What you have to prove is that he is unfit to do so. Document when he is late or misses pick-ups. Be as detailed as possible. Remember you are going to have to PROVE these statments, saying them alone will not help in court. Later have your lawyer quiz your husband on the children, prove he doesn't even know them or their schedual! Good luck. This may get messy or frustrating but try to remember your kids and stay positive for them. They are counting on you to raise them properly.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?I have been through just about what you are going through now and I must tell you, Once the judge makes his decision, it is very, very hard for the other parent to take custodial rights away from you. He must prove you unfit to care for the children. He must prove all accusations he may make. His word will not be taken without proof! But if you are served with papers, Make sure you get in touch with an attorney and be at the hearing, even if the attorney says you need not be there. Things has a way of coming up that you could stop before it even begins, making the decision quicker and ensuring you and the children lose nothing.
Good LuckCan my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Your ex would have to prove that you are an unfit parent....from what I've read, that's NOT gonna happen.....so relax hon and let him spout off all he wants. Your kids are where they belong...with you! Funny how they all of a sudden want more after the divorce...I think there a two reasons for this....a) doesnt want to pay child support and b) feels it's the only way to %26quot;punish%26quot; the ex because he knows you love them so much! Keep a smile on your face knowing that all his squawking wont amount to anything! Best wishes!! :)Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?if you have full custody i cant see a judge over turning that decision only if he has some proof that you are mistreating them or you don't let him get his weekends regularly a judge should over turn the decision but if your good to them you shouldn't have a problem
What should I do in this case?Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Your ex will have to present the court with a compelling reason why custody should be changed. Jealosy over the time you get to spend with the children is not a compelling reason.
If he has evidence that you are incompetent as the custodial parent, that would a reason that the court may consider. Of course you would be given an opportunity to refute his evidence.
If he serves you with papers you should consult a lawyer.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?noCan my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Sounds like your ex is just trying to rattle you. Don't let him get to you. Keep being a good mom and do what's best for you and your kids. If he's jealous of the time you have with your kids then tell him to plan some quality time on his weekends with them. Perhaps he's finally seeing what he's losing? Good luck to you.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Depending on how old your children are, the judge will take into consideration their feelings.
But yes, he can, he could and he might.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Talk to your lawyer but I agree with one of the other answers people who states that he would have to show proof besides jealously... that doesn't cut it. How old are the kids? I know here 12 year olds are allowed saying with whom they would like to go. Good luck to youCan my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?He will need to file a petition with the court to change custody. He will have to prove to the judge his reasons for changing his custody agreement since he obviously agreed to what was filed. It sounds to me like he's angry with you and this is one way to push your buttons. I would just wait to see if you receive anything from the courts regarding another hearing. Just remember, everytime he goes to court, it will cost....Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?He cant take the kids unless he proves to the court that your a bad mother which it sounds like your a very good mother. Unfortunatley having kids means having 2 parents usually and it sounds like your ex is bitter. The court is set up that they want parents to share in visitation because they believe it is in the best interest of the children. In my case and all i have seen the courts lean towards the mother having the most time spent with the kids. Dont get mad at your ex, instead say o.k. I will agree to every other weekend and maybe 2 days a week and dont give anymore and then when he sees hes not affecting you he will let up and probably not show up for the visits. Relax the courts on on the moms side.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?With your lawyer start creating a schedual of all three children's activites for the week, month, and even year. Your husband will challenge custody and it is his right to do so. What you have to prove is that he is unfit to do so. Document when he is late or misses pick-ups. Be as detailed as possible. Remember you are going to have to PROVE these statments, saying them alone will not help in court. Later have your lawyer quiz your husband on the children, prove he doesn't even know them or their schedual! Good luck. This may get messy or frustrating but try to remember your kids and stay positive for them. They are counting on you to raise them properly.Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?I have been through just about what you are going through now and I must tell you, Once the judge makes his decision, it is very, very hard for the other parent to take custodial rights away from you. He must prove you unfit to care for the children. He must prove all accusations he may make. His word will not be taken without proof! But if you are served with papers, Make sure you get in touch with an attorney and be at the hearing, even if the attorney says you need not be there. Things has a way of coming up that you could stop before it even begins, making the decision quicker and ensuring you and the children lose nothing.
Good LuckCan my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?Your ex would have to prove that you are an unfit parent....from what I've read, that's NOT gonna happen.....so relax hon and let him spout off all he wants. Your kids are where they belong...with you! Funny how they all of a sudden want more after the divorce...I think there a two reasons for this....a) doesnt want to pay child support and b) feels it's the only way to %26quot;punish%26quot; the ex because he knows you love them so much! Keep a smile on your face knowing that all his squawking wont amount to anything! Best wishes!! :)Can my ex get custody if I am custodial parent n divorce final 3 wks ago?if you have full custody i cant see a judge over turning that decision only if he has some proof that you are mistreating them or you don't let him get his weekends regularly a judge should over turn the decision but if your good to them you shouldn't have a problem
Sole Custody?
Me and the ex husband are in a bitter custody battle. Twice he has missed mediaiton first time they refereed us he just missed the second one have not returned to court yet on this. My question is that he has asked for a change in custody but has twice missed mediation. I am going to put a motion in to court for sole custody with visitation to the ex. Seeing how he has twice missed the court ordered mediation. What are my chances of obtaining sole custody. Right now we have joint legal with mw having primary him secondary.Sole Custody?A lot of this will depend on the state you live in if in the US. Also will depend ultimately on the judge and how welcoming they are to sole custody. Generally it is difficult to get sole custody unless the other parent is deemed unfit. I would say that your chances will be excellent if he doesn't show up to a hearing in this matter. It will definitely look bad that he has missed mediation twice but it will ultimately depend on the judge whether they see that as reason enough to award sole custody to you.Sole Custody?a judge is not going to lower his custody rights due to missing mediation - the only way you would get sole custody is if he was a danger to the kids.
don't waste your time, you are just going to make a messy situation - worse. If your attorney is urging you to file for sole custody, be concerned, as he/she is more looking at your wallet than your interests - or the kids.Sole Custody?Hi, this is a very difficult situation and I'm sorry to hear about it. I am assuming at this point in time that you have joint custody but that you have physcial custody (your kids live with you).
Unfortunately just because he is missing mediation doesn't mean that you have justification for sole custody. The courts would perceive this as your problem with him. It is very difficult to get sole custody these days.
Think about his interactions with the kids:
Does he skip weekends that he has visitation with the kids? Does he ever call them at the house? Does he feed them when they are with him? Does he keep them well clothed (in the winter are they dressed appropriately - you don't have to provide clothing for his house)? Do the kids regularly take showers or baths at his house? Do the kids enjoy their time with him - or does he get the kids and then get a babysitter and go out?
Even if your answer is negative with every one of these items, doesn't mean a change will occur.
Being the devil's advocate - think carefully about your reasons for changing to sole custody - you have physcial custody and control over much of what the kids do - is it just so you don't have to deal with him?
The courts often assign a child advocate lawyer for the children in cases like this. It's these folks' job to determine what's going on: whether (1) the kids are safe, and (2) if the parents just have a problem with each other. These folks are known to give the parents a lecture and send them off to counseling with no change occurring in custody (even in cases where the kids were sexually abused in the physcial custody parents' house - as long as the perpetrator is out of the house, the kids are deemed safe and will remain with that parent).
I don't know if this helps you or not. It's a really difficult situation and no simple solution. Be the bigger parent - make all your appts (and on time) - document all his missed appointments and any issues that you might have. At some point, the courts will take all this into consideration but you have to have all your ducks in a row.
Good luck!private myspace remove sunless tanning spray
don't waste your time, you are just going to make a messy situation - worse. If your attorney is urging you to file for sole custody, be concerned, as he/she is more looking at your wallet than your interests - or the kids.Sole Custody?Hi, this is a very difficult situation and I'm sorry to hear about it. I am assuming at this point in time that you have joint custody but that you have physcial custody (your kids live with you).
Unfortunately just because he is missing mediation doesn't mean that you have justification for sole custody. The courts would perceive this as your problem with him. It is very difficult to get sole custody these days.
Think about his interactions with the kids:
Does he skip weekends that he has visitation with the kids? Does he ever call them at the house? Does he feed them when they are with him? Does he keep them well clothed (in the winter are they dressed appropriately - you don't have to provide clothing for his house)? Do the kids regularly take showers or baths at his house? Do the kids enjoy their time with him - or does he get the kids and then get a babysitter and go out?
Even if your answer is negative with every one of these items, doesn't mean a change will occur.
Being the devil's advocate - think carefully about your reasons for changing to sole custody - you have physcial custody and control over much of what the kids do - is it just so you don't have to deal with him?
The courts often assign a child advocate lawyer for the children in cases like this. It's these folks' job to determine what's going on: whether (1) the kids are safe, and (2) if the parents just have a problem with each other. These folks are known to give the parents a lecture and send them off to counseling with no change occurring in custody (even in cases where the kids were sexually abused in the physcial custody parents' house - as long as the perpetrator is out of the house, the kids are deemed safe and will remain with that parent).
I don't know if this helps you or not. It's a really difficult situation and no simple solution. Be the bigger parent - make all your appts (and on time) - document all his missed appointments and any issues that you might have. At some point, the courts will take all this into consideration but you have to have all your ducks in a row.
Good luck!
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